His Word = My Strength

This week, these past two weeks, have been one big emotional roller coaster.  At times, I find myself living my normal life (happy, laughing, making jokes), other times I find myself doing those same things while trying to hide my true feelings on the inside (attempting to be strong), and at other times this week my shield has torn completely down and the tears flowed without ceasing.  There have been highest of high moments, and lowest of lows.  I’d like to think this is okay….

Being where I am in my walk with the Father right now I often feel like I am not supposed to have these moments of breaking down; I feel like I am not supposed to be crying because crying means I am not relying, trusting, believing 110% in Him.  But, that is far from the truth. 

This week my Pastor reminded me about the life of Job.  This week I have found my strength in Job.  In the midst of my roller coaster of emotions I turn to the book of Job and find my strength in knowing every emotion, every thought is one hundred percent okay….look at these Words…

Job 2:10                “…Shall we accept good from God, and not accept trouble?”
Job 3:25-26          “What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. I have         no                                 peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil.”
Job 5:9-10            “He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be         

                  counted.  He bestows rain on the earth; he sends water upon the countryside.”

I can admit I am not the best reader.  I am definitely not the best at comprehending what I read.  Combine those two together, reading the Word is difficult to me.  That is where the Study Word comes to be of best benefit.  J

When I read over this Book this week I was reminded just how okay it is to feel every single one of these emotions.  What a slap in the face 2:10 is….In life it is so incredibly easy to praise the Father and thank Him for all the wonderful things we are given; but really, shouldn’t will still praise Him during these times of trouble as well?!  We serve a mighty Savior who we often underestimate.  I am reminded in Jeremiah that “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you;” in Luke I read, “Indeed, the very hairs on your head are all numbered.”  How AWESOME is that!?!  How reassuring are those words!  So, when I read, and when I connect with the feelings of Job in vs25-26, when I am having my low moments, I remember those verses in Jeremiah & Luke.  I remember that although right now, in this present moment, I am hurting and in pain, I serve the most incredible Father who seeks nothing but the absolute best for me – He has gone before me, He knew me before He created me, knows every hair on my head AND then I turn back to Job and read the most incredible verses ever.  Job 5:9-10:  “He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted.  He bestows rain on the earth, he sends water upon the countryside.”  How soothing, how relieving, how beautiful, how peaceful are these verses.  All anxiety, all heartaches can be washed away. 

You know as I sat and read through this Book this week, I cannot help but to think about how true these verses are. 

My Word was given to me by my mom from my earthly father.  This Word got us through tough times before.  This Word has been underlined, highlighted, and marked in.  This week, each of these three verses in Job were already marked for me.  I cannot help but smile when I read them.  I KNOW that my Father wrote them for my earthly father, who made sure to highlight them for me at a time such as this.  I cannot help but to see how my earthly father, and He@venly Father worked together and are helping me to get move through this time as well. 

I encourage you, when you go through a rough time period open the Word and read through Job. 

This week has been a bit of a blur.  Monday Eddie went in for a CT scan.  Monday afternoon we received a call from Dr. Vatca in the early afternoon, and she was so gracious to meet with us and explain the results from the scan.  Basically, there are two very enlarged lymph nodes on the outside right lung.  The size of these lymph nodes would explain Eddie’s trouble with breathing lately.  Upon meeting with Dr. Vatca she had already determined and set up an appointment for us to meet with Dr. Peterson to get these places biopsied/removed….At this point we are still waiting for the results of the other tests from Monday to arrive.

Today, was our busy day.  This morning we had appointments in Winston and then back to Elkin to meet with Dr. Peterson.  Although today did not result in a lot of knowledge or the conclusion of anything we were able to make some progress for moving forward.

Right now Eddie will be having a procedure on Tuesday where they will run a tube/needle of sorts down in order to do a biopsy on the two enlarged lymph nodes. Now, you may be asking are these two places tumors?  We asked that question too.  As it appears these two lymph nodes are enlarged to the point it appears from the view we have now that they are probably taken over by a “tumor”, this cancer.  But, that is what we must get in there to find out what exactly is going on.  So, Tuesday they will go in and biopsy these two places and see what we are dealing with.  They will also do a biopsy on the place on Eddie’s neck.  Although this place did not show up on the CT scan, we still need it to be biopsied and checked. 

Basically, that is all we have!  This is a slow steady process.  It is a very rare cancer, and several hoops that we must move through in order to determine what treatment to do.  Upon receiving the blood work and these biopsy reports we will hopefully be able to determine the aggressiveness/lack of aggressiveness of this particular cancer.  Upon that decision we will be able to determine the necessary treatment of choice. 

We are pr@ying that we will stay in the “well differentiated” category (the positive side of this cancer) and can either knock this out with shots or surgery.  However, if we realize different it may require some further, more in-depth treatments. 

Please continue to just pr@y for us daily!  The unknown time, this waiting period is definitely the hardest.  We have no idea what is truly going on and where we are at.  It is this time that we need your pr@yers in seeking His will and relying fully on Him.  We do feel your pr@yers; we believe in the power of pr@yer.  We know that our Father is the one great physician.  We know that no matter the outcome He will be glorified through this.  Please pr@y that we have selfless eyes and selfless hearts; there are people we will come in contact with that the Father will place before us to share His love with – pr@y that we are open to seeing, feeling, and meeting the needs of these precious people. 

Our family is strong.  We know that as a family, our relationships have grown leaps and bounds.  I ask that you continue to pr@y that we work and grow together.  Everyone is busy right now and we all need your pr@yers as we strive to continue normalcy and adjust to this time period.  First, pr@y for Eddie as his needs are our main focus and priority.  But, please also pr@y for Jamie’s safety and Liv while he is away, pr@y for Fain, Alli and Josh as they are in school, and mom trying to work and meet all appointments.  Please pr@y that we all make sense of this and grow together during this time.

We know that within PRBC this past year the Father is doing/using His people to do His work.  We also know that right now the Father has chosen me to move forward and do His work in an area that will remove me from my family during this time.  (Which I ask that you please pr@y for me during this time and this decision – I know what I am to do, but it will be the hardest thing I have ever done.)   BUT, we also know that this was given to us at this particular time for such a reason, and although we do not understand it, we have two choices.  We have the choice of letting satan win (we give up, we blame the Father, and we stop doing His work) OR we continue to press forward, fight through, and do what He has called us to do.  We choose the second.  As a family we have decided that we will continue to do the work He has called us to do! 

We love you all and appreciate you more than you will ever know.  We are blessed to have you in our life.  

We hope you all have a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving; as we have so many things in our life to pr@ise and thank Him for! 

Blessed is an Understatement.

Tonight I sit here trying to wrap my brain around the events of today…

This morning my Sunday school class had a packing party for Operation Christmas Child.  Father showed up for this event and He showed off in a mighty way.  We packed right around 75 boxes; just one class alone.  That is 75 children around the world that will receive the gospel, and a box filled with love!  75 boxes out of one class…I can’t to see the boxes poor in from the entire body, from the community… I cannot wait to get to the distribution center and see His work being done through this ministry.  Amazing. 

Then, in service this morning I sat surrounded by a group of people that Dad has placed into my life – a group of people that have supported me from the time I was a young child, through every event leading up until now.  I sat this morning listening to the children sing in the choir (elementary children singing loudly, proudly to our Father), I listened to our choir lead us in hymns, I listened to the string band raise their voices…..then I listened to Mitch give a message, an incredible message that the Father laid upon his heart.  All of this Dad used to remind me the importance of His church; how we are truly called to live together, worship together, grow, and connect together.  We are called to do life together.  And, in doing life we are called to support one another through the lowest valleys of life.  Because, although this service and this day was filled with joy and praise, there were people in my church with pain and hurt.  There were people sitting in that very building of happiness, who were drowning out the music and preaching in thoughts of pain and hurt. 

Today, Dad has shown me numerous times what it means to be broken hearted for others.  Today I heard of sickness hurting a family, I heard of innocent ones being hurt, I saw children neglected, and I talked with a teen who broke my heart to pieces. 

As a child, I was born into a family I took my family for granted.  Although I saw sickness at a young age, the Father used that sickness to glorify Him – that was obvious to me and never a doubt in my mind.  He then blessed my family with a new family – and although I didn’t understand the merge of our two families, although I didn’t want to accept it at the time (or for a couple years) – I now see it.  I live a BLESSED life.  I have a mother and step-father who love me unconditionally (no matter how poorly I use to treat them), I have a sister who has been by my side through thick and thin, I have step siblings who love me no matter how rude I use to be, I have the absolute best aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins anyone could ever ask for, Dad blessed me with G-Parents who love me and my sister like parents would, He blessed me with the best of friends (who I consider all to be family), He blessed me with a church family that is unbelievably loving and perfect role models…..

…I list all of these people because all of these people have made me who I am today.  I am beyond blessed to have these people in my life.  These people have kept me in line, focused, and driven. 

BUT, as I realized tonight some people, some children, are less fortunate and don’t get to live this picture perfect life.  Tonight I met a young girl named A.  A is a beautiful, loving child.  However, she was born into a rough situation which has led her to traveling down the wrong road in life.  A began smoking weed at age 5, began shooting up at age 12….got caught and now at age 15 is living in a home away from her family.  As I spoke with A tonight she told me how her body is now use to this way of life.  Weed was nothing to her body.  Although I tried to encourage her, it was almost as if this way of life was all she knew – she had not hope, no ambition of truly changing gears; the change was only a temporary fix in which she hoped may continue upon being released in December.  As I talked to A my heart just broke into pieces for her.  I tried to explain to her that this was not the Father’s desire for her; she was created to be more, to be something far better.  Although she understood that, we all know that habits are hard….and that being surrounded by the habit makes it that much harder to break.  A wants to be in the military when she grows up – she has that hope, that dream to hold on to.

Today, I learned that not everyone is as fortunate as I am.  Today I saw that some children are not as fortunate to have a family that keeps you inline and set an example for you.  BUT, at the time of realizing this, I was also reminded that, that is what His body, His church is for!  We are called to reach these lost friends.  Just because these children, the people, do not look like us – just because they may look different, act different, think differently than we do – we are called, as His body, to reach them!  So, as you go this week I ask that you pray for A.  I ask that you pray for the Father to give her the strength she needs to overcome this, I ask that you pray for the Father to provide a stable person in her life that will guide her through this time and show her that hope and overcoming this battle can only occur by leaning on Him. 

Each person in life has a story.  I can admit that I am guilty of running through life like a wild, crazy animal – I am always in a rush, running from one place to another.  You’ve probably seen me in Walmart practically running from one side of the store to the other trying to grab something real quick on the go.  BUT, this week I am going to try to slow down.  I am going to see each person before me a child of Him, who has a story, and I pray that the Father can use me to be of help to them.  I encourage you to do this as well.  As you pray this week, pray with me that we will have the heart, the eyes, and can feel the pain for each of His people; just as He does.  In praying this prayer, we will be more apt to slow down, connect, and relate to His people.  

In His Name, 

Sam

A Responsibility We ALL Hold....

This past week my mind has been flooded with a million emotions and thoughts.  As I approach this new path in my life I am humbled by the thought that the Father has picked me for such an opportunity.  I have had people look at me, and ask is this truly your new title.  Are you now a M?!  That word, that title – what an incredible meaning behind the word, what a responsibility this job has.  However, when I sit and think about this path, and when I begin to think about this calling that He has asked me to fulfill…shouldn’t I have considered myself this anyways? 

From the time the Sprite enters into our lives we are called to spread His love, to make Him known.  We are called in Matthew to fulfill this obligation to all ends of the Earth.  However, does this mean that we must go to the most remote parts of the world to fulfill this obligation – by no means no!  Some of us are called to serve in our own homes, our communities, our churches – some of us are called to serve right where we are because have been significantly placed there for a reason.  However, Dad calls upon others of us to move across the globe, to those undisclosed locations and spread this unending, eternal love to people we have never met. 

However, this calling to go does not mean that I, or anyone else are any “better.”  No, if anything I have realized within the last six months how unworthy I truly am.  I am a normal person, a filthy sinner, who messes up every day.  But, I serve a Father who loves me unconditionally and forgives me during my daily moments of weakness. 

In the past six months, I have come to realize how little I am in this big large world.  As I do daily devotions and spend time in His word, I am constantly reminded how I serve a Dad who is so great, so large, so powerful that I cannot fathom all He has done, does, and will continue to do.  Each day, as I grow in and read His word, it seems like a smack in the face.  I have lived on this Earth now for twenty-four years and what have I done with what He has given to me?  I have spent these last years spinning my wheels, doing life my way…I haven’t been faithful in my actions, my words, my walk, my day to day actions….I have lived this life my way.  When I sit and think about it, it is beyond shameful.  This life is not mine to live, but His. 

So, as some people may look at me during this time in my life and place me on a pedestal – that is by no means where I belong.  No, I am a filthy sinner who messes up every day.  If anything I feel completely inadequate at times to fulfill this call.  However, we must all realize that sharing the gospel is our job, our duty – we are called to serve Him, to serve His people right where we are.  That means if we are called to live in little Roaring River, NC we are called to serve His people right here around us.  But, if He calls us to pack up our things and move somewhere else then we are called to love His people and serve those people in just the same way. 

Therefore, the next two months, as I am still living in the wonderful NC, I pr@y each day that the Sprite will fill my heart with compassion and love for the people around me; just as I pray it will for the people of "Italy."  We are all called to fulfill this duty, it is a just a matter of where He calls us to go! 

As you go this week, please continue to pr@y for me during this transitional time.  Continue to pr@y for my kiddos at school.  This week we had our ups and downs.  Since the Father and His work has been an open conversation in our classroom, since the children know who I am and what I stand for, breaking the news to them went better than I expected.  Although they are sad I am leaving, they understand why and what for.  They are truly a blessing to have.  However, they are nervous for someone new and the changes that will come with that.  Please pray for the teacher that will come in and take care of these twenty munchkins.  Please seek the Father’s will for each decision that I have to make during this transition and preparing for this move.  Also, I am now working on my letter for Prayer Warriors – I will be mailing these out soon!  If you feel led to be a prayer warrior for me please let me know!  It is beyond comforting to know that I have the support of so many loved ones. 

ALSO, if you have someone or something on your heart that I can be lifting up to the Father for you please let me know.  We are His church.  We are called to support and grow with one another.  As much as I know I am supported, I want to support you as well. 

In His Name,

Sam

From WV...To Guatemala...To "Italy!"

About a year ago this time, the Father started stirring in my heart.  Although I was blessed, there was something that I knew was missing – I felt a stir to do more.  I was not content with my job.  I was not content with a lot of things in life.  As I began prayerfully seeking His will in my life, He began turning things upside down.  I went on a mission trip to West Virginia this exact time last year – although it was only a weekend trip it opened my heart, my eyes, and my mind to a world I never knew.  It grew a desire in my heart to serve Him and His people.  Upon returning home I began searching and seeking what direction He wanted me to serve in next.  This led to my sister, Alli, and I serving in Guatemala over this past summer.  Again, Father used this experience to open my eyes and my heart.  My heart yearned to serve these people, His people.  I remember one night specifically Alli turned to me and asked, “What are we doing?  Why don’t we do this for real?  Why don’t we stay?”  At that moment it was like none other – I knew missions was what Dad was calling me to do.  Although I was not sure where or with who; I just knew this was a direction I should take.  Upon returning home and talking to my parents, I began praying and searching for what direction to take, and that is when my mom discussed this opportunity with me.  I then began the daunting task of all the paper work, references, etc……It took a while…especially the medical work.  But, when all was said and done He laid the path, I was asked to come to the conference in October.  Upon going to the conference I had NO idea what would take place or happen.  I kept wondering if this meant I was “in” and what exactly “interviews” meant.  However, those four days left me absolute AWE of HIM!  There was no doubt in my mind I was supposed to be there.  Although when I left I had NO idea of what would happen – I had no idea if I would receive THE call…I had no idea if/how he would use me – I knew that He had shown Himself to me, and I knew that through it all I drew closer than I had ever been.  I knew if I was not called to go somewhere else, that He would have big plans for me here at home….I knew that my life for the next two years was completely in His hands and His path, His idea for those two years was/would be far greater than anything I could ever do alone.

It was the next four weeks that were most trying….It was like riding a roller coaster.  Although I know Dad’s hand is in everything, there were many times I would forget.  There were many times during these four weeks that I would forget He was in control, and I would panic not knowing which direction my life was about to go in…..However, it was during those times that I found myself digging in His word and praying constantly. 

On Tuesday, October the 12^th my Dad showed up in so many ways!  Eddie had his surgery today – a surgery that we really didn’t know what exactly would be the outcome.  But, Dad was in control.  The surgery went fine; everything came out clean with great blood results and nothing had spread.  What a praise right?!  God took care of this.  THEN, after school I received THE call!  I honestly cannot think of a happier time in my life.  I received the call – Dad revealed His plan for my life.  This plan which leads me to move half way around the world – leaving my family, my loved ones, my friends, my church family, my job…my kids….all behind.  AND, this requires me to learn a new language and have to cook on my own?! (If you know me these are two serious issues J)  Although I am nervous/scared to leave these important precious people behind, I cannot stop smiling because I know that HE is totally in control!  He is going to take care of everything now and will continue to do so all along the way. 

I am unbelievably blessed with wonderful people in my life.  I have the most supportive family – a family that has rode this roller coaster with me and supported me every step of the way.  And, I am not only talking about my immediate family, but my extended family and the G0d Parents I was blessed with at birth.  I may be biased but I don’t think there is a more supportive church family out there either – I know I am surrounded by prayer warriors who will support me in any way they possibly can.  AND, I am so thankful to work at a supportive school and school district.  When determining that I would be quitting at Christmas break I notified my principal, superintendent, and assistant superintendent.  When perhaps quitting should be a “hard” thing to do, these three made it very simple.  They not only understood my call to follow Him, but supported it 110%.  Their blessings  and understanding was just one of the many ways the Father worked this process out – showing me He paves the way! 

As I head into this last month of school, I ask that you all pr@y for my sweet kiddos.  Although days are long and hard, these kids make me laugh.  Pr@y for the person who replaces me.  Pr@y that they understand, and unconditionally love my kids the way that I do. 

I will be working until December 20, and will then have approximately a month off before heading out.  I will leave for training on January 20.  Training is in Virginia and is approximately eight weeks long.  THEN, I will return home – just in time for my second niece’s arrival – before heading out sometime in early April.  From there, I will do six months of language school in the city, and upon learning the language will then be able to move out and connect with the people.  Please pr@y for me and the people that Dad places in my path all along the way! 

Thank you for your support during all of this!

Love, Sam



The Call to Move

Have you ever compared your daily walk with Dad to that of a body of water? Would you compare your walk to that of a pond, or that of a river? We all know that pond water is stagnant – never moving, never flowing. However, on the other hand, a river is always taking water in, and pushing it out to a newer, bigger location. 

Our walk should resemble that of a river. Dad has not called us to be stagnant, pond water C's.  Dad calls us to move – much like that of the river. We are to dive into His word daily, gaining in knowledge about Him; then we are to move and spread our knowledge to those around us. 

We are not called to be still. We are called to get connected, grow, and share His word with those around us. 

We welcome you to come and get connected in His word with us tomorrow!!

He Paints My Path

This morning as I drove to work I couldn't help but think what an amazing Father we serve! He is perfect in every way. Just as He paints these sunrises every morning and the sunsets every evening, He has also painted a path for us to walk down in life. A path that we must be willing to accept and take when it is revealed to us. I serve a loving God, and cannot wait to see what beautiful path He paints for my life!

Clip Chart

The infamous clip chart! All teachers, students, and parents know how the clip chart works and the objective it is trying to get across. They can be found in almost all classrooms today. Each student starts on a level playing field, and 
has the opportunity to move up or down – depending on his/her daily choices. Ultimately, the objective of the clip chart is for teachers to hold students accountable for their behavior, their words to others, and their actions. In this situation the teacher is the overseer, and the voice of movement.

Last week, I told my students that I didn’t do my “homework.” They ultimately decided Ms. Newman MUST have a clip on the clip chart….Sure enough, as my students came in this morning there was one made for me. Nicely decorated and filled with love. Although this seemed like a class joke at first, this was something that my entire class was beginning to take pride in. And, furthermore, they should have this right to “move my clip” if I “misbehave.” 

Often times it is easy for us to fall into the trap of judging others – it is easy to be the person who “moves people’s clips,” instead of allowing ours to be moved. The objective of the clip chart is to hold one accountable for their actions – but, mustn’t we all be held accountable?! 

One day we will all stand before the Father, and we will be waiting to hear those ever longing words “Well done thy good and faithful servant.” We all long to be on top of His “clip chart.” 

I challenge you today – find someone who can be your accountability partner. Find someone who can help you keep your “clip” on the positive side. Find someone who will help you grow, who will help you forgive, who will help you overcome.…Find someone here on Earth who can help you stay committed to being His 
servant and will challenge you in your Faith, so that you will hear those sweet words, “Well done they good and faithful servant,” one day!