If you know me, you know I am mostly a black and white kind of person.  I am a check yes or no type of person.  I like to see or have the outcome in mind.  I like to know what the answer will be.  Sure, I have learned to just go with the flow on some things in life; but, I guess the teacher part in me likes to have things planned out – knowing what will come next, and having an idea in my mind of how it will turn out.  I am a planner at heart. 

But, here lately nothing has been black or white.  Tonight I was just driving down the road, just reflecting upon life.  I began wondering and asking Father (for like the millionth time in the past week), “Why can’t things just be a yes or no, why can’t there just be a check box?...Where answers are obvious – where there are no question marks….”    

Each time I ask, I get the same response.  I think that often times Father doesn’t always give us the point blank answer, He doesn’t give us a black and white ending picture, He doesn’t give us that yes or no box, because He wants us to trust in Him.  He wants us to fully surrender those items that are causing questions, hurt, and pain over to Him.  He wants us to lay it down at His feet, giving it all over to Him, and TRUST that He will take care of it all.  Our Father loves us beyond all recognition, beyond anything we can ever comprehend….He feels every hurt and pain that we have.  He knows every emotion we have, every thought we have. 

BUT, He yearns for us to let him take these burdens and just completely give them over to Him, knowing that He already knows the answer to these questions, He already knows which way things will go…

I admit – it is hard at times.  I fail daily at this.  I am such a strong willed person that I feel I should find out every answer, I should understand every unknown, and those that I don’t understand I want to discover and find out for myself as quickly as possible……

BUT, this is not what we are called to do.  In these times of questions, Father calls us to sit quietly, wait patiently, and trust fully in Him.  He calls us to spend time in His word, drawing closer to Him….fully surrendering life over to Him. 

So, as you go through the duration of this week, I ask that you pr@y for me to do just this.  And I challenge you to try this as well.  We serve a mighty, mighty, MIGHTY BIG Father who loves us deeper than anyone could, and cares for us in ways we will never understand.  He goes before us, never leaving us in these times alone. 

Tomorrow, is a big day for our family!  As we have faced many unknowns the past few weeks, we finally got some results in.  Eddie’s biopsy did show that the lymph nodes outside the lungs and neck were cancer – the same type as we had found before – neuroendocrine carcinoma.  On the positive side, the MRI found nothing in the brain, and the CT found nothing in the stomach!  We did have at PET scan today, and will be on our way to see Doctor Vatca again first thing tomorrow morning.  Upon seeing her in the morning, Eddie will begin chemo treatments tomorrow afternoon! 

Sure, there were a lot of questions answered by these results.  But, our family still has many, many questions.  When we have family discussions my answer is always, “Well, that is still one big question mark….”  We don’t have all of the answers in going through this – and honestly I still can’t help but want to ask the Father WHY…But, at the same time I cannot help but smile.  Am I smiling because I am happy…No.  My heart breaks for my family.  But, I know that our Father holds the ultimate answers to all of this – we know that He has a big, big plan that one day we will get answers to.  So, in the mean time we are going to continue pr@ising Him and sharing His love with those around us.

Tomorrow, we will be in the doctors office for most of the time.  Please pr@y that we….

 A.  keep a positive, strong outlook, as that can be hard to do at times

 B.  that He breaks our hearts, opens our eyes, and shows us people that we can share His love with!

Tomorrow, we will be surrounded by people going through the same situation we are.  There will be people of all walks of life that we will come into contact with during this time, I can only hope that Dad places the right people in our paths that we can show His love to!  There is work to be done for His Kingdom, no matter where you are! 

We will let you know how tomorrow goes!  J 

Key Verses:

Psalm 46:10-“Be still, and know that I am G0d.”

John 16:33 -“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

AND, yet again my friends, dig into Job!  Job 33:12-33.  Job is my best friend right now.  This mans biggest trial was not his pain, but rather understanding why he was suffering.  He shows us that we must learn to trust in the Father who is GOOD!