Sadie's Gift

                                      

Every year, at this time of year, life seems to become one big whirl wind.  Life becomes very fast pace; where both days and nights become filled with some event or activity.  Although it is the happiest time of year, we tend to get so busy and so caught up in the materialistic parts of the season that we forget about the true meaning of the celebration.

I will be the first to admit, these past two weeks have been complete chaos for me!  Between school, family, quitting my job to prepare for this new adventure, and celebrating Christmas events, I have had something going on nearly every night.  Life has seemingly been nonstop.  Due to these busy days and late nights, I will admit that my morning devotional time has definitely not received the time it deserves - it has almost been nonexistent on somedays....

The irony in all of this - the reason life is so busy, the reason for this holiday, is to celebrate our Savi0r, JC. But, how is it that we give gifts, we indulge in tons of food, we gather together with loved ones....we laugh & fellowship with one another...yet, in all of this we forget the real meaning behind the season?!?  

That first Christmas our Father gave us the best gift one could ever receive - the birth of Je$u$.  Our Father selflessly sent His one and only Son into this world - a world we selfishly filled with sin - knowing that this was one gift that He would give to His people, out of love and compassion, which would not and could not be returned by the people.  He sent His Son into this world, knowing the outcome would result in Chr1$t's death on the cross, to save us of our sins - to save us, filthy, unworthy sinners - so that one day we could enter into His gates forever...

This gift was the most valuable, the most heartfelt, the most selfless gift anyone could ever give.  This gift is THE reason we have and celebrate Christmas.  

So, is it okay that we give gifts and celebrate with family during this time of year?!  Definitely.  But, does our Father want us to get so caught up in purchasing gifts and the materialistic aspect that we have turned Christmas into, that we forget the true meaning of Christmas?!! No.  I challenge you to stop and take time this year to share the true meaning of Christmas with someone; share with them the best gift that they could ever receive - JC! 

....Even if everyone you know already knows Dad, you can STILL share His love for them, with them.  And this is the lesson that I learned Sunday! 

Yes, my family and loved ones are all His children, but does that mean that I cannot continue to share His love and discuss His word with them?!  Absolutely not.  And this often times is something that we tend to do.  

I feel it is easy to look at people as check marks.  Once one becomes a follower, we just check them off and tend to not discuss, build, and grow a Christian relationship with them.  We tend to look for the next nonbeliever to share His love and word with.....

But, this is not what we are called to do.  We are called to connect, build, and grow in our relationship with Him together!  We are His body, and His body cannot operate correctly without all parts working together; keeping each other built up through words of encouragement, prayer, discipleship, and so forth....

As I went to church yesterday, I received the BEST Christmas gift from a fellow believer one could ever imagine.  

Yesterday, little Miss Sadie gave me a handmade scarf for my trip to "Italy!"  It was absolutely stunning - you could tell that she spent a lot of time and effort on this scarf - it was truly made with love.  But, this gift got even better.  Along with the gift, Miss Sadie had written me a card.  In the card Sadie wrote - "...I also hope you will remember that when you look at this scarf you can know that you always have someone praying for you...." 

Sadie, a child, understands the way that gifts should be given.  Sadie not only gave me a scarf, a tangible item that she worked so very hard on making, but she also has given me a priceless gift - the gift of prayer!  There is nothing more comforting than knowing that I have her support and her prayers during this time in my life.  This is what Christmas is all about - this is what we, as believers, are called to do for one another! 

Thank you sweet Sadie for reminding me what Christmas is all about. Thank you Sadie for reminding me to slow down and remember the reason for this Christmas season.

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas! 

Love you all, 

Sam

A Change of Seasons...

                                 

As I reflect upon yesterday, I could not help but think of Ecclesiastes 3:1 – “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens…”

Yesterday, I ended one season of my life.  But, I began an entire new one. 

My entire childhood I just knew that I would grow up and become a teacher.  I remember as a child, I would torture Alli and my poor stuffed animals, by putting a flashlight in my closet so that it would shine upon my bedroom wall, I would hang a piece of paper (making my own makeshift overhead projector), and would make them play school with me!  Often times, you will hear how teachers are just born teachers – born with the natural instinct to love, work with, and teach children – this is what everyone said about me; there was just no doubt that I would be a teacher when I grew up.

With that in mind, I went to ASU, received a degree in elementary education, and have been teaching for the past two and a half years.  In these two and a half years I have taught in three different grade levels, have accomplished things I never thought I would ever do, have learned more than I ever would have imagined, have laughed until I have cried, have stressed myself out until I have cried, and the list could continue on forever…I would be lying if I told you these past two years were a bed of roses; they definitely were not.  Like any job, there were high days and low days, times of laughter and times of crying, times of frustration and times of pure happiness.

In the education world, it is easy to get so wrapped up in meeting requirements and fulfilling the curriculum expectations that one forgets to look at his/her children as children (as individual people, who need nothing less than love and compassion); but rather look at them as little robots who you know you have to pull growth out of and see success.  Last year, that is what I did.  I looked at my sixty some fifth graders as little robots, who I had to pull growth out of in some form or fashion.  I didn’t worry about their home and social life, like one should have – although I talked with my kids, I definitely did not build the positive relationship I desired to have with each one of them.  I was strictly their teacher, who set an extremely high standard for growth, and did everything I could to make sure they met that growth.  AND yes, I had no idea what I was really doing (I taught social studies and science), so that meant I was even more stressed out, and in no way patient with the kids.  Did I get the test results I wanted?  Did my children meet that expected growth?  YES, they blew it out of the water.  BUT, were those test scores something I was proud of….absolutely NOT.  I was almost rather embarrassed.  My children may have excelled on a test; but, so what….I was not the person I should have been for them.  I was not patient.  I was not loving.  I was not the person I desired to be for them.  In fact, I was completely opposite of that.  In saying that, I was determined that this year would be better.  I was determined that yes, I would still have high standards and do my very best to teach and meet the standards I was required to teach; BUT, I was also determined that this year I would love my children.  I was determined to know my sweet little fourth graders – I was determined to take time to listen to them, hear their thoughts, cry with them if they needed it, and laugh at all of their silly stories.  And, I did just that.  And, I will say that this half year, I have grown to love these sweet children more than I could have ever imagined. 

This year, Dad truly blessed me children who although I had moments of frustration with, I can honestly say that I never left school having not laughed at least once!  Even on my worst day, at my grumpiest moment, these kids knew just what to say or do to make me laugh.  And, upon telling them that I was planning to leave, they took the news like champs!  Yes, they were heartbroken, but they kept saying “Ms. Newman is doing work for Dad, so it’s okay.”  These kiddos are children of the Father, who know the true meaning of life, and taught me just as much as I taught them. 

Yesterday, since it was our last day together, I was determined that none of us would cry – we were going to spend the day having fun!  We only had a half day yesterday; so not a lot of time – but we utilized every moment.  Mom and Alli came in yesterday to help make this day great.  They pulled the children back and had them making cups filled with the ingredients to make “Cowboy Cookies,” to give to a loved one for Christmas.  Although this proved to be quite a messy and tricky task, there was nothing but smiles on everyone’s faces!  The kids LOVED it.  Then, we spent the rest of our day playing “Minute to Win It” games!  It was so much fun – my kids are VERY competitive, so you can imagine it became very loud and chaotic, but totally worth the laughs and smiles.

   

You can see in these pictures how our day went….AND yes, you’ll notice they did try to tie me up and get me to stay J  It was a perfect day, a perfect ending to my time in fourth grade! J  I ask that you pr@y for these munchkins as they start back on January 6^th though – they are very apprehensive about having a new teacher and all of the changes that will occur with that…..     

After school was over, I was blessed to spend some time with all of the staff by eating lunch at Theos!  Although I refused to give a “speech” yesterday, because I was determined that no one would cry, I would like to say how blessed I am to have worked with each and every person at CB Eller over the course of the past two and a half years.  I am beyond grateful for the faculty and staff of CB Eller Elementary School.  These individuals are truly like family to me, and I am forever grateful for them.  They have been there to help me in any way possible, and have never complained about it once.  They are the hardest working people I know, and each one of them is truly passionate about their job and the children that they work with.  They not only pushed me to be the best teacher I could be, but they also pushed me to become a better person.  Thank you all for everything you have done, and continue to do…I love each of you and wish you nothing but the absolute best.

……As this door closed yesterday, my heart was saddened to leave these beautiful people BUT, at the same time it was the most peaceful, easy transition I have ever made.  Closing this door was both hard and easy – it was truly a bittersweet goodbye.  Although I always felt that I would make a career in teaching children, although as a child I saw this being the career Dad had chosen for me, He has opened this entirely new door for my life.  It is a door in which I am opening, and running straight through with no hesitation.  This is truly the first time in my life in which I can see Dad’s path laid straight in front of me, just waiting on me to walk down it…..I can also look back on these past couple years of my life and see how He has been planning this path for me to take.  It is nothing short of amazing. 

In less than one month, this new journey, this new season, will begin in full force!  Although this new journey is requiring me to close several other doors, and leave everyone and everything I know behind, I could not be more excited and sure of this decision.  His plan, His path, His decision for my life is far greater than anything I could ever imagine.  

I like a check box answer.....

If you know me, you know I am mostly a black and white kind of person.  I am a check yes or no type of person.  I like to see or have the outcome in mind.  I like to know what the answer will be.  Sure, I have learned to just go with the flow on some things in life; but, I guess the teacher part in me likes to have things planned out – knowing what will come next, and having an idea in my mind of how it will turn out.  I am a planner at heart. 

But, here lately nothing has been black or white.  Tonight I was just driving down the road, just reflecting upon life.  I began wondering and asking Father (for like the millionth time in the past week), “Why can’t things just be a yes or no, why can’t there just be a check box?...Where answers are obvious – where there are no question marks….”    

Each time I ask, I get the same response.  I think that often times Father doesn’t always give us the point blank answer, He doesn't give us a black and white ending picture, He doesn’t give us that yes or no box, because He wants us to trust in Him.  He wants us to fully surrender those items that are causing questions, hurt, and pain over to Him.  He wants us to lay it down at His feet, giving it all over to Him, and TRUST that He will take care of it all.  Our Father loves us beyond all recognition, beyond anything we can ever comprehend….He feels every hurt and pain that we have.  He knows every emotion we have, every thought we have. 

BUT, He yearns for us to let him take these burdens and just completely give them over to Him, knowing that He already knows the answer to these questions, He already knows which way things will go…

I admit – it is hard at times.  I fail daily at this.  I am such a strong willed person that I feel I should find out every answer, I should understand every unknown, and those that I don’t understand I want to discover and find out for myself as quickly as possible……

BUT, this is not what we are called to do.  In these times of questions, Father calls us to sit quietly, wait patiently, and trust fully in Him.  He calls us to spend time in His word, drawing closer to Him….fully surrendering life over to Him. 

So, as you go through the duration of this week, I ask that you pr@y for me to do just this.  And I challenge you to try this as well.  We serve a mighty, mighty, MIGHTY BIG Father who loves us deeper than anyone could, and cares for us in ways we will never understand.  He goes before us, never leaving us in these times alone. 

Tomorrow, is a big day for our family!  As we have faced many unknowns the past few weeks, we finally got some results in.  Eddie’s biopsy did show that the lymph nodes outside the lungs and neck were cancer – the same type as we had found before – neuroendocrine carcinoma.  On the positive side, the MRI found nothing in the brain, and the CT found nothing in the stomach!  We did have at PET scan today, and will be on our way to see Doctor Vatca again first thing tomorrow morning.  Upon seeing her in the morning, Eddie will begin chemo treatments tomorrow afternoon! 

Sure, there were a lot of questions answered by these results.  But, our family still has many, many questions.  When we have family discussions my answer is always, “Well, that is still one big question mark….”  We don’t have all of the answers in going through this – and honestly I still can’t help but want to ask the Father WHY…But, at the same time I cannot help but smile.  Am I smiling because I am happy…No.  My heart breaks for my family.  But, I know that our Father holds the ultimate answers to all of this – we know that He has a big, big plan that one day we will get answers to.  So, in the mean time we are going to continue pr@ising Him and sharing His love with those around us.

Tomorrow, we will be in the doctors office for most of the time.  Please pr@y that we….

 A.  keep a positive, strong outlook, as that can be hard to do at times

 B.  that He breaks our hearts, opens our eyes, and shows us people that we can share His love with!

Tomorrow, we will be surrounded by people going through the same situation we are.  There will be people of all walks of life that we will come into contact with during this time, I can only hope that Dad places the right people in our paths that we can show His love to!  There is work to be done for His Kingdom, no matter where you are! 

We will let you know how tomorrow goes!  J 

Key Verses:

Psalm 46:10-“Be still, and know that I am G0d.”

John 16:33 -“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

AND, yet again my friends, dig into Job!  Job 33:12-33.  Job is my best friend right now.  This mans biggest trial was not his pain, but rather understanding why he was suffering.  He shows us that we must learn to trust in the Father who is GOOD!

As you finish reading this blog, I ask that you pr@y for some additional unspoken requests that I have.  I have a lot of friends, coworkers, and church family that are facing difficult and trying times right now.  I ask that you pr@y for peace and understanding, for healing and comfort for them during these times!  The Father knows each of their situations, please lift them up to Him.  

Love you all,

-Sam

Today, I was the student.....

Today was one of those WILD, and completely crazy days at CBE!  It was one of those days that seemed to be never ending, where everything was changing, and it became nearly impossible to get anything done.  If I can be honest – today was just one of those days where you wanted to go back home, go back to bed, and then restart the day over – hoping it would go better the second time around.

This morning started off rocky because it was a day full of testing – the kiddos had reading/vocabulary tests this morning, and I was trying to progress monitor and get other necessary testing completely.  This meant that we needed a quiet room; if you are in the elementary world you know that this is a tricky task to do at this time of year!  It essentially resulted in a lot of fussing and clip moving……I felt like the “mean teacher.”  Being the “mean teacher” is never fun, for me or the kids…... 

As a result of the madness, I was living the morning just waiting for lunch – I just needed a break and the kids needed time to talk…..

But, that wasn’t the case today….

Just as I was excited for a lunch break, G0d decided to teach me a lesson – a lesson on loving my kiddos.  A lesson that didn’t hit me until tonight when I was driving home, reflecting upon the day.

Mid-morning came and Mrs. Huffman made an announcement – the water was going to be shut off…..lunch time was coming early, AND the kids would need to eat lunch in our classrooms today!  You can probably imagine my face (you know I am terrible at hiding my expressions).  As my kiddos were excited (because eating in the room is a treat to them), I can admit I wanted to pull my hair out!  I was in desperate need of a break….but, this was just one of those situations where “me time” would have to wait. 

So, here we go to get our lunches!  The kids were happy and crazy…I was pouting…. J  As we approached the outside doors on our way back one of my sweet munchkins asked, “Ms. Newman, can we say Gr@ce today?”  My response - one big smile and an “Of course you can!” 

Of course, in the public school world, teachers can’t initiate anything – but, if the kiddos want to pr@y I won’t tell them no!  So, as we entered into the classroom I told them if they wanted to pr@y we would make a circle in the back to bless our food, and if they did not feel comfortable joining they didn’t have to!  THIS, moment was priceless.

My children began asking if they could ask for pr@yer requests.  It was in this moment that I realized the heart of my children – they have soooo much to teach me!  They each stated their requests in their individual unique ways – many for their own family members who are going through things, but many were for me and my family. 

Then, I said, “Okay, who wants to do the pr@yer?!”  And, of course, Jake (who I go to church with) spoke right up and volunteered.  Let me be the first to tell you, this kids relationship with the Father is such an example!  This child has a heart of gold – he knows who his Redeemer is, he knows who his Father is, and he is more sincere than anyone I know when it comes to pr@ying…..I cannot remember a time when Jake’s pr@yers don’t make me smile, when they don’t bring tears to my eyes.  Jake’s pr@yers are those pr@yers that you KNOW the Father is listening to! 

Today, although Jake was supposed to be blessing our food, he pr@yed for everyone’s request.  He asked the Father to be with each one of our friends requests today.  AND, at the center of his pr@yer was Eddie.  His words were so sincere to the Father, so heartfelt – I wish you could hear it.  “God please let Eddie be okay today, please let him make it through this and be okay.”  Talking about chill bumps, Jake’s pr@yers can give you chill bumps. 

But, you are probably wondering why I am telling you all about this…..

Today, through this time together, the Father reminded me why I became a teacher - he reminded me the importance of slowing down and listening to my children, He reminded me what it means to pr@y wholeheartedly, believing in the power of pr@yer. 

Often times in my job (like today) I get so bogged down in trying to accomplish the work and goals I have set for my classroom for that day that I forget to take time and appreciate my children and what they can teach me.  Yes, I am the teacher in that classroom.  And, yes I am under a time crunch to get the curriculum taught; but, I must remember to slow down and actually listen to the words and hearts of my children.  Sometimes, I have to sit back and be the student and allow them to teach me!

At the end of the day, children are just children.  Sure, at times they will definitely drive me crazy – but, they also are incredible, loving, clever minded, innocent children who want to please and love people. 

If you are ever around a child, take time to just stop and have a conversation with them.  Treat them like an adult – listen to them and learn from them.  Today, Jake reminded me the importance of turning to the Father in pr@yer, and the power of pr@yer!  He reminded me how a pr@yer should truly be – sincere and heart felt – turning everything over to the Father! 

I only have 13 days left with these kiddos.  It will be a bittersweet goodbye for sure.  We have our crazy days like today, but we have also had so many great moments, full of laughter.  I have been very blessed this year to have such a great group of students.  Please continue to pr@y for these 20 babies as they are nervous and concerned about who will become their new teacher.

AND, if you ever have a chance to meet Jake – talk to him about his Father.  He will definitely tell you about Him!