As I reflect upon yesterday, I could not help but think of
Ecclesiastes 3:1 – “There is a time for everything and a season for every
activity under the heavens…”
Yesterday, I ended one season of my life. But, I began an entire new one.
My entire childhood I just knew that I would grow up and become a
teacher. I remember as a child, I would
torture Alli and my poor stuffed animals, by putting a flashlight in my closet
so that it would shine upon my bedroom wall, I would hang a piece of paper
(making my own makeshift overhead projector), and would make them play school
with me! Often times, you will hear how
teachers are just born teachers – born with the natural instinct to love, work
with, and teach children – this is what everyone said about me; there was just
no doubt that I would be a teacher when I grew up.
With that in mind, I went to ASU, received a degree in
elementary education, and have been teaching for the past two and a half
years. In these two and a half years I
have taught in three different grade levels, have accomplished things I never
thought I would ever do, have learned more than I ever would have imagined,
have laughed until I have cried, have stressed myself out until I have cried,
and the list could continue on forever…I would be lying if I told you these
past two years were a bed of roses; they definitely were not. Like any job, there were high days and low days,
times of laughter and times of crying, times of frustration and times of pure
happiness.
In the education world, it is easy to get so wrapped up in meeting
requirements and fulfilling the curriculum expectations that one forgets to
look at his/her children as children (as individual people, who need nothing
less than love and compassion); but rather look at them as little robots who
you know you have to pull growth out of and see success. Last year, that is what I did. I looked at my sixty some fifth graders as
little robots, who I had to pull growth out of in some form or fashion. I didn’t worry about their home and social
life, like one should have – although I talked with my kids, I definitely did
not build the positive relationship I desired to have with each one of them. I was strictly their teacher, who set an
extremely high standard for growth, and did everything I could to make sure they
met that growth. AND yes, I had no idea
what I was really doing (I taught social studies and science), so that meant I was
even more stressed out, and in no way patient with the kids. Did I get the test results I wanted? Did my children meet that expected growth? YES, they blew it out of the water. BUT, were those test scores something I was
proud of….absolutely NOT. I was almost
rather embarrassed. My children may have
excelled on a test; but, so what….I was not the person I should have been for
them. I was not patient. I was not loving. I was not the person I desired to be for
them. In fact, I was completely opposite
of that. In saying that, I was
determined that this year would be better.
I was determined that yes, I would still have high standards and do my
very best to teach and meet the standards I was required to teach; BUT, I was
also determined that this year I would love my children. I was determined to know my sweet little
fourth graders – I was determined to take time to listen to them, hear their
thoughts, cry with them if they needed it, and laugh at all of their silly
stories. And, I did just that. And, I will say that this half year, I have
grown to love these sweet children more than I could have ever imagined.
This year, Dad truly blessed me children who although I had
moments of frustration with, I can honestly say that I never left school having
not laughed at least once! Even on my
worst day, at my grumpiest moment, these kids knew just what to say or do to
make me laugh. And, upon telling them
that I was planning to leave, they took the news like champs! Yes, they were heartbroken, but they kept
saying “Ms. Newman is doing work for Dad, so it’s okay.” These kiddos are children of the Father, who
know the true meaning of life, and taught me just as much as I taught
them.
Yesterday, since it was our last day together, I was
determined that none of us would cry – we were going to spend the day having
fun! We only had a half day yesterday;
so not a lot of time – but we utilized every moment. Mom and Alli came in yesterday to help make
this day great. They pulled the children
back and had them making cups filled with the ingredients to make “Cowboy
Cookies,” to give to a loved one for Christmas.
Although this proved to be quite a messy and tricky task, there was nothing
but smiles on everyone’s faces! The kids
LOVED it. Then, we spent the rest of our
day playing “Minute to Win It” games! It
was so much fun – my kids are VERY competitive, so you can imagine it became
very loud and chaotic, but totally worth the laughs and smiles.
You can see in these pictures how our day went….AND yes, you’ll
notice they did try to tie me up and get me to stay J It was a perfect day, a perfect ending to my
time in fourth grade! J I ask that you pr@y for these munchkins as
they start back on January 6th though – they are very apprehensive
about having a new teacher and all of the changes that will occur with that…..
After school was over, I was blessed to spend some time with
all of the staff by eating lunch at Theos!
Although I refused to give a “speech” yesterday, because I was
determined that no one would cry, I would like to say how blessed I am to have
worked with each and every person at CB Eller over the course of the past two and
a half years. I am beyond grateful for
the faculty and staff of CB Eller Elementary School. These individuals are truly like family to me,
and I am forever grateful for them. They
have been there to help me in any way possible, and have never complained about
it once. They are the hardest working
people I know, and each one of them is truly passionate about their job and the
children that they work with. They not
only pushed me to be the best teacher I could be, but they also pushed me to
become a better person. Thank you all
for everything you have done, and continue to do…I love each of you and wish
you nothing but the absolute best.
……As this door closed yesterday, my heart was saddened to
leave these beautiful people BUT, at the same time it was the most peaceful,
easy transition I have ever made.
Closing this door was both hard and easy – it was truly a bittersweet
goodbye. Although I always felt that I
would make a career in teaching children, although as a child I saw this being
the career Dad had chosen for me, He has opened this entirely new door for my
life. It is a door in which I am opening,
and running straight through with no hesitation. This is truly the first time in my life in
which I can see Dad’s path laid straight in front of me, just waiting on me to
walk down it…..I can also look back on these past couple years of my life and
see how He has been planning this path for me to take. It is nothing short of amazing.
In less than one month, this new journey, this new season, will
begin in full force! Although this new
journey is requiring me to close several other doors, and leave everyone and
everything I know behind, I could not be more excited and sure of this
decision. His plan, His path, His
decision for my life is far greater than anything I could ever imagine.
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