What Do You Do?!

What do you do when life becomes hard?  What do you do when everything you have ever known is gone, and everything placed before you are things you have never seen?  What do you do when everyone you have ever been around is thousands of miles away?  And, you don’t know the language in an effective manner so you cannot speak to the new people around you?  What do you do when your heart is with your family – in hospitals, doctor’s office, or just at home?  What do you do when you find yourself lonely and alone?  What do you do when you silence creeps in?  What do you do….Where do you go?!

Before heading to the field the common phrase that was said to me was – “you are really going to suffer for the L0rd aren’t you?!”

In this blog I want to be as transparent as I can possibly be with you. 

I am definitely very fortunate that the Father has placed me in a city where I can pretty much easily access everything that I could need and want – things may be different, but I have all life necessities I could want/need here.  

I most definitely do not “suffer” in the sense that most people would commonly think of.  So how in this type of set up, how in this particular placement, is it that I often times find myself completely alone or upset? 

These first three and half months on the field have definitely been a roller coaster – filled with many highest of highs, and dropping to the lowest of lows.  I have found myself crying with tears of laughter during a morning language session, to leaving school mad and upset when leaving in the afternoon.  I have found myself surrounded with wonderful friends one moment, to feeling completely alone the next.  I have found myself loving the different restaurant options, to missing the down home country biscuits and gravy!  I found myself being able to fulfill a lifelong dream (being in Africa), yet desperately wanting so badly to be home with my family!

Although these three months have been filled so many adventures – from school, to visiting foyers, to sharing life in my teammates apartments with some of our people group, to see the Eiffel Tower and all the touristy spots, to finding the best creperie around, to seeing life in Africa…There has most definitely been times where none of that mattered.   There have been times where I have never felt more alone.  Times where I wanted to be at home with my family celebrating events that were going on, or sitting at a hospital waiting on results.  Times where I wanted my friends to laugh and act ridiculous with.  Times where I wanted to never ride the train again; where I would give anything to ride through the country back roads with the windows down and my radio turned up.  Times where I literally felt so alone, and honestly just saddened….

So what do you do in those ruts of life?  Because home or abroad, those ruts do occur, and you have to find a way out.  You have to find your happy place again.  You have to find the joy in life again…So how?!

 

Lately, when the quiet creeps in and when stress comes upon me – I cannot help but smile at the Father.  At home when I was surrounded by everyone and everything I had ever known I can honestly say that I never took time to sit and talk to the Father.  On my way into school each morning, I would sing praises to Him with KLove and spend time talking to Him then; but I never took time to rely on Him for everyday life necessities.   Rather, I would turn to my family and friends for their advice, guidance, and support.

Now, here me out on this as well…I have the most incredible support system.  Getting cards, emails, texts, etc literally brighten my day like none other.  More than anything, I praise the Father for blessing me with people who I know without a doubt, when I am in one of these ruts, I can text and they will lift me up to the Father right away.  But, when I look at these people – they are all a part of HIS body!  And, as His body, that is what we are called to do – simply share life together – to lift each other up, to be there for one another, to rejoice when one rejoices and hurt when one hurts…BUT we are not called to rely on those people more than we rely on the Father (which is what I have been doing for my whole life until now). 

So if there is one thing that this stillness, this quietness, this massive change of newness has taught me it is that I serve a Father who is dying for me to rely 110% on Him – not anyone else or anything else.  He longs for me to find joy in Him, to seek Him in those darkest/quietest time.

And so in those moments, I have found myself being called to read His Word, and to go to Him in pr@yer.  And I cannot express to you enough how in these moments He has never failed me – but instead, He has always provided me with the Words and encouragement that completely changed my mindset and lifted my spirits! 

So in these few months on the field, I have learned something that I should have learned a long time ago.  Having been a believer since I was eight, and am currently twenty-four, I am almost ashamed to admit it took me that long to realize the imperativeness and necessity of relying on Him.  But, I am glad that I have figured it out at twenty-four, instead of forty-two. 

I love relying on the Father for daily encouragement, Word, and wisdom.  He is enough.  He is all we need. 

If you are not relying on the Father today, if you are trusting Him, believing Him, listening to Him, talking to Him, reading His Word…I encourage you to wait no longer!  Dive into your walk with Him and get connected.  You’ll be amazed at what He does!  Trust me.  

A Late Night Train Ride...

A couple weeks ago, I learned the biggest lesson that I have probably could ever learn.  A lesson that I wish I would have learned and realized a few years ago.  A lesson that has made me ashamed of the statements that I said in the past.

One night each week we have team meetings in the City, and they inevitably always run late – due to our love for talking to each other, and playing cards!  A couple weeks back, as we were boarding the late night train to come home, we had to literally leap across streams of pee in the stinky station and run to get on the train in time – only catching the back end of the train before it took off. 

As we had to stand in the back end of the train, it was the four of us j-people, a quiet man standing off to the side drinking a beer, and….two drunk/high younger guys.  As the four of us crazies jumped on the train, we were quickly approached by these two younger guys – loudly telling us in French to be quiet, to hush, and saying other inappropriate things at us.

 

This ridiculousness continued for quite a few minutes, and it increasingly grew in harshness, loudness, and obnoxiousness…if we didn’t have the boys with us, I would have been a bit nervous.  But, what happened next I will never forget.

The man standing to my side, leaned over to me and said (in Franglish) – “Do not worry.  If they cause trouble, I will take care of you.”  I did my best to muster out a “merci” to this sweet gentleman.  Knowing he was there, and was on our side, alone was relieving. 

As the two young guys left the train, we all felt relief.  As we were all discussing how crazy the young guys were and how rude they were to us, the older man began to engage in conversation with my teammate, T.  Within their conversation, the man expressed how he was a Musl*m.  And then he said…

“You see we are not all bad people.  We are known for being bad, mean people – but, we all are not.  Just like this, just like me, some of us want to help people.” 

You see, I remember in 2001 when the Towers were hit, and as other incidences have occurred across the globe since then – I remember a number of times where my initial thought was, “Why are we in this war, why are we fighting for so long, why don’t we just blow the place up?!!!!”

But, after this discussion with this particular gentlemen, after listening to his heart….my heart broke.  I became ashamed of myself and my ignorant thoughts. 

How dare I be so incredibly ignorant as to group all Mus. into the same category. 

Yes, they may have different beliefs than I do.  Yes, we may not see eye to eye.  But, just like Christ*ans are not all the same; how dare I belief that all Musl*ms are the same – that they all are extremists.

 

The truth is this.  Just as this man said, most Mus. want to be as welcomed, as accepted, as trusted, as loved, as befriended as anyone else in this world….. They do not want to be labeled with this “bad,” “harmful” stamp that they tend to be labeled with. 

What I love most about this City is the fact that people are allowed to be themselves.  People are allowed to be free – to dress, to act, to do… to live life the way that they want to.  There is nothing more amazing to me than to ride the train, walk the streets, or walk into stores and see people of all races, ethnicities, cultures, and religions living life in the same place.

….And the reality of it is that our job is to simply LOVE these people, of all different backgrounds, no matter where we are.  We aren’t called to believe what they believe, and we aren’t called to walk in their same path of life.  Scripture just simply calls us to love. 

So I encourage you to break down your barriers, rid yourself of any prejudices and you may have.  Love those people around you today – no matter what color they may be, no matter what religion they are, no matter how they dress…Don’t be intimated.  Don’t be nervous.  Don’t prejudge them.  Don’t categorize them!!  JUST LOVE THEM.  Even if loving them starts with just a simple smile and hello – you have no idea how big of a difference that may make!  

From despised to cherish...

Stepfather

Ten years ago there was no man that I despised more.  When he walked in the door, I cringed.  There was no one that I spoke ruder to, and no one that I wanted to see out of my life any worse.  To be honest, I had nothing but pure anger for this man and wanted absolutely nothing to do with him, and under no circumstance was about to give him a chance.

    

I saw nothing good in him – I wanted to see nothing good in him.  In my realm of life, we had nothing in common – I just saw him as some Harley riding military fool.  And quite frankly, I wanted nothing more than for him to be out of my family – and for life just to be Mom, Alli, and me. 

But, that was ten years ago.

A lot has changed within ten years. 

Like I wrote yesterday, relationships take time and effort. 

Today there is no man that I am more thankful for.  There is no man that has shown me more unconditional love, support, encouragement, and truth.  There is no man who has better shown me the importance of standing strong during the hard times, and fighting for what you know is true.

    

Eddie and I still have our rounds of disagreements, don’t get me wrong, but most of the time we are able to end up laughing it off.  And there are times where I think Eddie definitely questions his sanity – when he says he lives in a “hen house.”  But, at the end of the day we both know we wouldn’t change a thing.

This Father’s Day week I could not be more thankful and more proud to have a stepfather who has taken on the role of truly being a father to Alli and me.  Even through the roughest times, Eddie has never once, not claimed us to be his.  He has never once, not provided for us; but, rather he has gone out of his way to make sure we always had everything we could possibly want and need.   He has shown us unconditional love, even when I least deserved it. 

As I look back upon these past ten years, I cannot help but smile at where Eddie and I are today.  There is no man that I would rather have married to my mom, and there is no man that I would be prouder to call my stepdad! 

These past few months have been very hard for Eddie and our family, but it has truly been beautiful to sit and watch Eddie just praise the Father through it all.  In a time where Eddie could have just turned his back and become angry with the Father, he has done the direct opposite – Eddie has not only sought after the Father; but rather, he has run towards the Father whole heartedly.

You know the phrase “actions speak louder than words.”  If you sit and talk with Eddie he will tell you, he doesn’t know the Word like he thinks one should.  He doesn’t feel comfortable standing before people and speaking about the Father.  But, Eddie doesn’t have to stand in front of people, and Eddie doesn’t have to speak.  His actions these past six plus months have been the biggest testament and example. 

When a man’s body is covered in cancer, and yet he continues to run towards the Father each day – seeking Him – there is nothing anyone could look up to more, there are no words that are even needed to be spoken.  When you look at Eddie you know who he serves and why he lives. 

This man is an example of what it means to trust the Father, to love the Father, and to know that He is with you always. 

I have gone from despising Eddie to truly cherishing this man in such a way that words cannot explain.  I am beyond grateful for his patience with me, his understanding, his knowledge, and most of all, his unconditional love. 

I can honestly say that although my earthly father is gone, the Father gave me someone just as equal to replace him.  Eddie is not just a stepfather to me; he is truly a father that I couldn’t imagine life without!

So today Eddie and mom are heading down to Duke University for Eddie to begin a clinical trial program.  As we know, several tumors have shrunk with previous treatments, but some have continued to grow.  But through it all, through two different types of chemo and radiation, we praise the Father for Eddie’s wonderful health.  It is astounding to see how physically he has still been able. 

We have no knowledge really, no statistics, of how effective this clinical trial has been.  But, honestly that does not matter. 

We know that we serve a Father who has a MUCH larger plan than Duke University!  We serve a Father who IS able to heal the sick. 

Today, I ask that you lift Eddie and Mom up.  We ask for them to have lifted spirits as they head into this day, that the treatment goes smoothly, and that Eddie will not be sick from the treatment. 

We know that this treatment may or may not work.  And that is okay, because we know that we serve a bigger Father who again is able.  So please don’t stop asking the Father for Eddie to be healed, but rather go to Him expecting Him to heal Eddie. 

Sometimes I believe that we don’t trust the Father enough, and we don’t expect big enough results from Him – I am asking you today to GO BIG!  ASK BIG!  EXPECT BIG results from Him! Please go to the Father on Eddie’s behalf, and please don’t stop. 

Relationships take Time..and Effort!!

  

Last week was a pretty big Frenchie week for me!  I was able to experience a World Cup prep game, France vs. Norway, and I was able to attend the Rolland Garros French Open.  Two sport that I know very little about; but, I could not have been more thrilled to experience the culture and atmosphere that was promised to come with both of these events!

Although both of these sporting events were amazing cultural events, in which I literally sat smiling the entire time, the Father had a few life lessons in mind to teach me during this time as well…..

As I sat last Thursday watching the Bryan brothers play double together, I could not help but just admire their relationship as brothers.  Let me first say, like any natural girl would do, I had to investigate and figure out who these two men were of course.  Yes, I admit, we perhaps did a bit of creeping on these two men.  J  But, creeping definitely led to a life lesson.  So that makes it okay, right?!

Bob and Mike Bryan were born three minutes apart from each other.  They won their first doubles tournament at age six, and have seemingly ruled the court together ever since.  These two thirty-five year old twin brothers have been ranked number one for over three hundred sixty one weeks – longer than any other doubles team in history!  As I sat watching these two brothers, amazed at the opportunity laid in front of me, I could not help but notice the bond shared between these two men. 

At every given opportunity, these two were constantly strategizing, planning their next moves, and furthermore lifting each other up – be it high fives, smacks on the butt, grins, or words of encouragement when something went wrong. 

As I sat watching these two play together, I could not help but think of my relationship with my sister.  Much like the Bryan brothers, we two were playing sports together at a young age.  But, our relationship wasn't one in which led to us winning championships together.  Better yet, we were doing great to not be yelling at each other.

You see, my sister is – as she has constantly reminded all the years of my life – one year and nine months younger than I am…..But we didn’t have the Bryan Brother relationship in the earlier years of our life.  Although we definitely loved one another growing up, we weren’t honestly real sure of what to do with one another, and how to share life with each other.

One of our fondest, most absurd, childhood memories is that in which I am feeding Alli yogurt.  Instead of feeding Alli, like a good big sister should do, I did the whole airplane with the spoon thing and sent the “airplane” right into my mouth!  Followed by, “all gone.”  Yep, I was supposed to be feeding and taking care of my younger sister, yet all I could think of was how to take care of myself.

That moment only led to moments where we chased each other around the yard, getting shoes thrown at one’s head, multiple doors slamming, numerous yelling contests, and so forth…..

This type of relationship, although it definitely had its good days, seemingly continued on this love/hate roller coaster all the way until I left for college.  Even in high school, when playing sports together should have been a time for great growth in our relationship, it often led to times of separation and anger. 

It wasn’t until I left for college that I truly understood this gift that the Father had blessed me with.  There is definitely something mysterious about distance that definitely make the heart grow fonder.   I remember in college, there was nothing I wanted more than to rush down the mountain and get home in time to watch Alli play her games on Thursday and Friday nights. 

But still then, we seemingly were not always on the same page.  There was even a time in college where we didn’t speak for months…seriously. 

But, as I sat watching the Bryan brothers play, I couldn’t help but think of Alli, and my relationship with her.  If I was in the Bryan Brothers position today, there wouldn’t be anyone else that I would want to play with, rely on, and just share every waking minute with. 

As I came home from the match that night, I looked at the Bryan Brothers website and a key phrase on their website is:  “Their success is the result of a combination of hard work, mutual respect, and passion for tennis.”

As I looked at that phrase, yet again, I couldn’t help but think about the example their relationship sets for others, and the relationship that I am so incredibly blessed to have with my sister today!

Without hard work, without respect for one another, without sharing a common passion for tennis – there is no way possible that these two brothers would be ranked #1…no way.

And without, hard work, respect, and common passions, Alli and I would not have the relationship that we have today. 

It took a solid twenty two years for Alli and me to have the relationship that we have today.  If you think it wasn’t hard work at times you are wrong.  And I don’t say that lightly, or hurtfully – it was work that I am forever grateful for, and wouldn’t change for anything.  The very first thing that we had to realize was who we were individually.  We had to realize individually how we worked – what brought us joy & what brought us pain, what we liked & what we didn’t like, what we stood for & what didn’t stand for, how we expressed feelings both good & bad, and what we wanted or expected from others.  Then, secondly, we had to spend time together realizing these very qualities in the other person.  And it was in those times of just sharing life together, doing life together, that our relationship flourished like never before. 

Today, there is not one relationship that I value and cherish more than the relationship that I have with my sister.  She knows me better than I know myself.  She knows how to make those bad moments better.  She  always know how to make me laugh. And better yet, she knows when and how to put me in my place!-which I love and completely respect....

So as I sat thinking about all of this during this one tennis match, I also couldn’t help but think about those people in my life who I need to spend more time with – those people who I value in my life, but definitely need to work on growing closer with. 

I would say that it is safe to say that I am great at connecting with people.  There is nothing I love more than sharing life with those people I truly love.  I do value the relationships that the Father has blessed me with in my life….But there are definitely some that I have failed at faithfully being diligent in growing and sharing life with.

As I made my mental list of people that I wanted to work on growing my relationship with, I then began thinking about how I was going to make this happen; especially being so far away from some of them…..

So as I sat thinking about how I was going to make this happen, I began to realize the first step was that I had to examine my own heart and feelings towards them.  I had to pinpoint what was hampering our relationship, and then look at what I personally could do, adjust, and fix about myself to make the relationship grow and flourish better.  Then, I realized the next step was just building in time for these designated relationships.  Every great relationship in my life has become great, due to effort and time spent with that person.  So I realized that these relationships, if I truly wanted to see them grow and strengthen, were going to require this type of effort and time as well! 

Alli and I, the Bryan Brothers, and any other great relationship did not become great by two people never speaking, never being real, never being vulnerable, never trying something new, never being open, never trusting each other, and never sharing life together!! All great relationships take a lot of time and a lot effort! 

I know who I want to grow closer with – both here and at home.  I ask that you go to the Father on my behalf, asking Him to give me the wisdom, words, and time to grow with each of these relationships.  AND, I just want to encourage you to do the same!  Spend some time reflecting on those people that you need and want to better share life with, that you want to grow in a relationship with – and then work on it!! J  Don’t give up.  And, if you want, let me know how I can lift you up in this aspect of your life!  J 

Let’s love some people this week!!! J

Seek JOY

Each day that you wake up you have the option to choose the way you will look at your day!  You can choose to either seek the negative (sadness within the day) OR you can choose to seek the JOY within the day.

If we are all honest, we can admit there is definitely going to be some point within the day where something occurs that could possibly bring down ones attitude, or even possibly “ruin” ones day. 

But, it is in those moments that you must seek the JOY within the situation.

As language school is proving to be difficult and trying, and as life is seemingly proven to become a daily routine….there are definitely times in which my attitude can easily become down and even negative. 

But, it is in those times that I have decided to seek JOY!!  And what a beautiful thing He shows us when we truly, whole heartedly go running, seeking His JOY in every moment of every day.

These past two weeks have been amazing.  As I start my mornings off with digging into His Word, I ask that He shows me Him during the day - That I seek Him and seek His JOY throughout the day.  And what a difference this outlook, this attitude…what a difference this perspective on life can make.

As I sit in class, giving my all, yet continuously messing up and not understanding what is being taught, there is nothing else I can do except laugh at the mass confusion that takes place in my mind, and the words that come out of my mouth. 

Sitting, trying to learn French for about five hour a day, and then coming home to study, can become very draining and very disheartening – especially when it doesn't happen quickly and smoothly.  But, instead of getting frustrated or sad, I cannot help but praise Him for the attitude that He provides me with each day!  I cannot help but thank Him for the teacher and classmates that He has blessed me with.  There is not fifteen minutes, there is probably not even ten minutes that passes in our classroom, where we don’t laugh.  And laughter keeps us motivated to learn. 

So, each day I cannot help but thank Father for the joy and laughter that He provides to me during this time of learning!

…But, even outside of the school realm, He continues to give me JOY - beautiful, gracious JOY that is only found through Him.  And in those JOYOUS times I cannot help but PRAISE Him for all He has done, and continues to show me and do for me. 

I challenge you to wake up each morning seeking JOY -  seek Him in every situation of every day.  Life can definitely throw some curveballs at you, but it is your choice as you how you react and view those trying times.

Seek JOY. 

If you seek joy in Him, your day will not be the same!  I promise you that.  In fact, I think it is safe to say that you may find yourself with this obnoxious smile that seemingly will not go away! J  He is faithful.  He is good.  He loves us.  HE IS JOY.   

"She"

"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and laughs without fear of the future.  When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.  She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness.  Her children stand and bless her.  Her husband praises her:  'There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!'  Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.  Reward her for all she has done.  Let her deeds publicly declare her praise."

She was born into this world some few years ago.  She was raised by a mother and father that I will forever be grateful for, and sisters who not only influence(d) her life but also mine.  She was first raised under a roof in which there was no indoor restroom, where life was more work than play, and where true appreciation for all commodities in life were worked hard for.  She was raised up with the understanding that nothing in life comes free - work ethic was everything, and laziness was nonexistent.  In high school, sports and competitiveness ran through her veins like a wild fire that has still yet to have burned out.  However, from my point of view, this "wild fire" was for the wrong team.  She couldn't figure out for many ears that the Elk was far greater and would always out win the Cardinal.  But, eventually, once entering into the App State world, She became brilliant!  She realized the beauty found within falling into love with a "Buckin Elk."  As She stood beautifully in white, to marry her groom, She had no idea the plan that the Father had in mind for the two of them.  But, the one thing She did know was that She was beaming with love for a man the Father had so graciously given her.  She then gave birth to two girls.  Girls that She treated like her whole world - girls She would die to do anything and everything for.  She was their number one.  But just as She thought life was going great, just as She thought She had a hold on life, just as She thought She was strong...She realized just how strong She had to become.  As her husband battled with and lost his life to cancer, She didn't once back down.  She stood by his side, She stood by her girls side....Through sleepless nights in the hospital or in a bed with two young girls, She kept herself pulled together always.  Although her heart was crumbling on the inside, She never once showed weakness on the outside.  Although She should have been crying on the shoulders of others, other cried on hers.  When quitting was an acceptable thing to do, She pushed past perseverance - She overcame!  She never quit, She never gave up!  Bills were never late.  Food was never not on the table.  Clothes were never not provided.  Instead, everything provided...everything and more.  She did whatever it took to make a difficult time easy.  She went to work before the sun came up, so that She could come home and coach her girls in sports, cook dinner, wash clothes...and do it all again the next day.  She pinched pennies where She had to, only pinching from the areas that affected her only, so that She could better provide everything for her girls.  She was their hero.  But, there came a day that She had to start thinking of herself again.  A much deserved day, but one in which took time and adjustment for her girls.  As She began to see someone, life became beautiful and hard all at the same time.  As She was growing more and more in love with this man, her girls were growing more and more apart from her - due to their (okay, my) selfish ways.  But, it was during this time that yet again, She thrived.  She stood knowing who She was, what She felt in her heart - for both him and her girls - and She did what She knew was best.  She fought.  She fought to show her love to her girls and to the man who had stolen her heart.  She went through hell and back again, for a man that She knew the Father was blessing her with.  But, it was through this time, that She showed and displayed true forgiveness.  Although it took year for her oldest to accept, and although She had no reason to excuse the actions and words from her oldest during these years.  It was through these years that She ever so perfectly displayed unconditional, forgiving, selfless love - A love that if modeled by the rest of the world, would lead to a beautiful, peaceful place.  And for that, She is called Peacemaker.  But, as if that wasn't enough to show the strength She had, to show the love She had...Just as She began to think that She finally had a perfect family again - a family in which laughter now ruled the house, a family in which love was overflowing in, a family in which hugs followed by "I love you's" were the norm - She was notified that the c word - cancer - had crept back into her family.  As her second husband was diagnosed with a very rapid, rare form of cancer - She pulled up her boots and She did not back down.  No, She realized that She had two options - to curl up into a ball and give up, or to stand tall, not backing down.  She chose the latter.  Today, and for the past six months, She has gone to appointment after appointment, filled with mostly hard news; but, She hasn't sat and wept for days - No, She has grown more and more in love with the man that the Father has blessed her with.  Since the beginning She grabbed his hand, She has grabbed all of her children's hands, and She has stood tall.  In a time where yet again a break down could be perfectly acceptable, She has kept herself together.  She has provided words of encouragement, She has rose from sleepless nights ready for another day, She has remained the woman that She has always been.  She has remained fearless.  She has remained powerful.  She has remained bold.  She has remained strong.  She has remained selfless. 

...And, ask her WHY...Why has She been able to remain this way through this roller coaster of a life?  How has She found peace in moments of darkness?  Because, at a young age, She knew who made her.  She realized the importance of the church body, and it is through Him and the people that He has blessed her with, that She is who She is today...

Perhaps Proverbs 31 is the overused, go-to scripture for women today.  But, in my opinion, SHE IS Proverbs 31.  I do not know a woman who has more strength and dignity than She.  I do not know a woman who has more wisdom, and displays kindness anymore than She.  I do not know a woman who works any harder to provide first for her family, for others, and then always putting herself last.  I do not know a more virtuous woman.  I do not know a woman who has more beauty on both the inside and outside than She does.  I do not know a woman who has more faith, and who has grown, in times of trial, in her faith more than She. 

I do not know a more Godly, more beautiful woman than She.  And I could not be more proud that SHE is MY Mother! 

We love you Mom.  Happy Mother's Day!  

Filler OR Dipper?! Your Choice...

Today, as I sat and reflected back upon past life events, there were two child-like notions that popped into my mind…

One of my favorite ways to start each school year off with my new students was to read the book “How Full is Your Bucket?”…If you have never read this book, I do not care how old you are, I strongly suggest sneaking into a B&N, find the children’s section, and read this book!  I guarantee it will bring you joy. 

I love starting my school year off with this book because I feel it sets a tone for the year.  It gets us in the mindset that –

A.  We are family.

B.  We have an opportunity to fill someone up each day, or pour and drain them out.  We have the choice to decide which one we will be….

This book creates a picture in which you imagine that everyone you come into contact with each day has a bucket upon their head.  You, as a passer-byer, friend, acquaintance, family member, classmate, teammate, sister/brother in C….You have an opportunity each moment that you see someone, to dip from someone’s bucket, OR to fill their bucket up. 

Metaphorically speaking, the point of this children’s book is to make us realize that every moment of the day we have an opportunity.  It is through our words and actions that we have an opportunity to build someone up - to bring them encouragement, to praise them, to light their world with joy…even if it is just for one minute moment.  OR, you have the opportunity to dip from their bucket.  You could chose to not speak to them, or to even speak words that hurt them, upset them, and bring them down.  YOU have the choice to choose which you will be every day –“filler” or a “dipper” – And no one can make that decision, except for you…..What a beautiful thing that is. 

So in the beginning of the school year, we often found ourselves asking one another – is that a dipper or filler comment?!....And then, as the year began to pick up, as things became more crazy and difficult, it became only natural, as human beings, that we began to get distracted and flustered with everything going on that we forgot about the concept of being a “filler” or a “dipper.”  We began rushing around, getting caught up in the business of life, and more times than not “dipping” became more of the norm…(although this is accidental, it naturally occurs)  As it would occur it began to create tension, it began to create hard feelings, it began to create a less than admirable atmosphere, in which not only our moods were brought down; but, also our self-worth, our self-respect, and our effort all began to spiral downward.

So as this happened/happens (because inevitably it does), what does one do?

Sometimes, we get to be the teacher (we get to be the leader) who holds the power to gather the class back together and have a heart to heart;` in which we are able to recoup and bring the concept of “filling” back into being….

…But, sometimes we aren’t always the leader.  And it is in this situation where you have two options.  Even though you aren’t the leader, teacher, or coach – even though you are just the teammate, classmate, or player – you still have the ability to call everyone together and refresh their memory on being a “filler.”  And sometimes, that will work.   BUT sometimes, it doesn’t.  Nonetheless, it is still worth the try…..

But then again, what do you do if that doesn’t work?!  Or, what do you do if you don’t feel that perhaps this choice isn’t best fitting for the time being?

This is where my second little reminder of the day comes into play. 

One of my fondest childhood songs goes something like this….

“This little light of mine…I’m gonna let it shine.  This little light of mine…I’m gonna let it shine...Everywhere I go, I’m gonna let it shine…Don’t let Satan blow it out…I’m gonna let it shine!”

(….You can’t sing this song and not have a little ray of joy brought into your heart, right?....)

So, this is my answer as to what to do…As to what to do when you find yourself surrounded by people in a setting where your bucket is seemingly being consistently dipped from…When you find yourself in hole, remind yourself that you ARE His light.  He is within you.  He is the source from whence all light comes from.  It is through Him that your bucket should overflow each day. 

Therefore, when all else fails. When humans are only being human, doing what we all unintentionally do daily – dip from each other’s buckets – just remember He lives within you.  Seek Him.  Pull to Him for nourishment.  And in that time, through those moments with Him – let your light shine!  And no matter what happens during the remainder of your day – no matter what anyone says to you, no matter how rude someone is, no matter how late you are for an appointment, no matter how many times you mess up, no matter how many times you fall straight on your face – stand back up proud, letting that light shine bolder than ever!  Because it is through Him that we gain strength.  And it is for Him that we should be living each day! 

That’s my train ride thought for the day!  Happy Sunday yall!

Love you all.