Learning how to pr@y from a 2 year old...

This weekend I got to spend a lot of time with my favorite tiny tot in the whole wide world – Hadley!  Ed, Mom, Alli, and I drove down on Friday and spent most of the weekend with Jamie and Haddy, while Liv headed out Saturday for a wedding!  As you would guess our weekend was filled playing choo-choo’s (trains), playing house, watching Haddy jump on the trampoline, and basically running around doing whatever HaddyBug wanted to do next!  We had such a fun weekend!  But, I definitely must give kudos to Liv and all of the other stay at home moms.  It is exhausting keeping up with a toddler all day – that sweet girl was still going strong at 9pm Saturday night, and this auntie was ready for bed!!  J 

But, if there was one highlight or lesson to be learned this weekend it was definitely this:

     1.  Haddy, at two years old, understands how to pr@y and pr@y consistently.

     2.  Amy must be a pretty important person and a really awesome teacher!! 

This weekend, as we began to pr@y before each meal, before Haddy’s naptime, and before bed each night – Haddy would remind everyone that we had to have “pr@y for Amy.”  I am not kidding, there was not one pr@yer that could be had without us having to pr@y for Amy – if someone missed Amy’s name, Haddy quickly reminded us after to say pr@yers for Amy.

Although Haddy is only two years old, she definitely understands more than most of us understand as adults.  Although none of the rest of us, besides Liv, even knew who Amy was we did recognize that she obviously meant a lot to Hadley and was someone who Hadley desired to lift up to the Father regularly.  And, in saying that, I can’t help but sit and look at my own pr@yer life. 

I have people in my life I pr@y for everyday – I have concerns I take to the Father almost every day.  Although I go to the Father with these people/concerns each day, do I really pr@y without ceasing?  Do I lift these people to Him every time I pr@y, or only when it is convenient? …… I cannot help but look at Haddy’s pr@yers for Amy and realize that I should be just a fervent and consistent in my pr@yers that I lift up to Him daily. 

As I told you all, I have been reading the book “The Circle Maker.”  For me, this book has altered and made me truly sit and think about the way that I go to the Father in pr@yer!  For me, I go to the Father in various ways, during various times of the day.  And, I can admit – my best quiet times are when I am either in my car alone driving OR when I go walking.  It seems like during this time, I can truly focus on getting quiet, pour my heart out to the Father, and then sit and listen on Him.  Then, there are other times, like right before a meal or before bed, where I seemingly either run through a pr@yer real quick or (as a ashamed as I am to admit it) fall asleep during my pr@yers!  L 

But, until recently I think I had the wrong impression of how to pr@y.  I always sought this as a time where I could just lift up people and concerns, but never did I back it with expectations, promises from the Father. 

Here are just things that I have learned while reading this book!  These are just some small things that have changed the way I go before the Father in pr@yer.  I hope that these can help you as well! 

1.  Our prayers should be “resolute yet humble, confident yet meek, expectant yet unassuming…”

2.  “Bold prayers honor G0d and G0d honors bold prayers.”

 There are many people, events, concerns that I know are impossible pr@yers in the human realm.  But, I also know that these are the things that I MUST lift up to Him.  These concerns, which require divine intervention, are the concerns that Father wants lifted up to Him because it requires our full abandonment, it requires us to fully relinquish the situation over to Him – If we take these bold pr@yers to Him, He will honor them. 

3.  Before seeking the Father in pr@yer, know exactly what you want!  

Knowing what you want is just the beginning of a pr@yer circle.  Then, don’t just read the Word, use the Word to circle His promises.  Use that promise and link it to your pr@yer.  "Claim your promise.  Spell your miracle."  Lay it all out there.  Be Bold in your pr@yer. 

4.  Once you circle a pr@yer, NEVER stop circling it! 

 Just as Haddy has done for Amy, she never stops pr@ying through for Amy.  Often times we pr@y for something, and we lift something up to the Father; but, we never pr@y through something!!  We must learn how to stop pr@ying for something and begin pr@ying through – we must be consistent and intense in our pr@yers.  Our pr@yers often times will be nothing more than just heartbreaking tears, and those are the pr@yers that go straight to the heart of the Father.  As the book says you can either “chicken out or pr@y through……if we chicken out we miss out on the miracle, if we pr@y through God will come through, but it may be at the last moment possible….”  Don’t stop pr@ying through friends!  His will, His way, His timing. 

5.  Then, I love this lesson the best, there are times where we must stop pr@ying through and start pr@ising through!!

Sometimes there are just moments where we need to stop asking the Father for something, and we truly need to stop and start pr@ising Him for what He has done and will do!  Pr@ising Him takes our faith to a higher level – it means that at times we go to Him believing that He has already answered our pr@yers.  It means that we believe and have such a faith that He will answer our pr@yers, we are already going to go ahead and pr@ise Him for answering those prayers!  Trust in Him in such a way that you KNOW He will answer!

6.  Never stop pr@ying through and pr@ising through!

Pr@yers aren’t meant to just change the circumstance –Pr@yers are also meant to changes us.  It helps to give us "sp1r1tual eyes – enabling us to see beyond our circumstances, beyond ourselves, and beyond time.”  Pr@ying through can become “long and boring”  but we cannot stop – His will, His way, His time…..Don’t ever stop!

.....So, from the lesson I learned from the most precious two year old I know – pr@y continuously, fervently, consistently.  Circle those pr@yers and never stop pr@ying and pr@ising through!!  

"...My ways are far beyond anything you could imagine..."

Today as I write this blog I truly cannot stop smiling! 

Throughout this entire process I have learned one massive lesson – I must stop trying to make this life my own; but rather fully rely, trust, and move forward in the plan He lies before me - trusting that He knows the desires of my heart and has built a plan in which those desires will be fulfilled during HIS time, His way…not my own.

Today, I cannot help but reflect upon two key verses:

Isaiah 55:8-9 – “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.  “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.”

Psalm 37:4 – “Take delight in the L0rd, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

As I have stated before, I began my life career of teaching as something that I never questioned.  I knew from a young age that teaching was my life calling – it was without a doubt the career field that I was going to go into.  With that in mind, I can honestly say that although I felt like it was the path Father was calling me to go down, I never truly took time in prayer to sit and listen, seeking to make sure that this was in fact the plan that He had for my life (not just my own plan). 

As I began teaching, this dream career became very trying at times!  I practically let it consume my entire life – devoting little to no time in being in His word.  It was during this time, that I finally can say I turned to Dad – asking, praying, and listening with my whole heart for Him to show me what He wanted me to do….And to make a long story short, this is how I ended up where I am right now!  He showed me that my thoughts, and my plans for my life, were definitely not aligned with what He had planned.  He had a plan for my life that I never would have dared of doing a couple years ago – a plan in which I must pick up and leave everything and everyone I know behind…..A plan so far out of my comfort zone it is unbelievable.  But, it is a plan in which I am having to fully, 110%, rely on Him – which is what I should have been doing my entire life and was not. 

And, I can honestly tell you that although I am nervous, I have never been more excited and happier to take such a leap of faith! 

In this process, I went to the conference in October looking to work in Africa, in an orphanage……Much to my dismay, there were NO jobs to be found doing orphanage work AND I was not allowed to work in most parts of Africa due to medical restrictions.  Again, my selfish minded ways were definitely not what He had in mind for me!  I can honestly tell you that in this realization, I was a bit heart broken.  I just knew that I would always do work in Africa – and although one day He may send me there long term to do work – right now He has called me to Paris! 

The Father has called me to work in P, a place in which I never thought I would ever do this type of work in….But, at the same time, He has/does know every desire in my heart and He is continuously showing me that if I just follow His will for my life, not my own, He will make sure that His plan includes the desires that I have – these desires will just be fulfilled in His way, at His time, in the perfect moment. 

Yesterday, as Alli and I were heading to Elkin, I received an email that she read out loud to me.  It started out as, “I hate to be the bearer of bad news…”  As she read this I was eagerly anticipating what bad news was about to come.  As she continued to read, the email stated that I would have to be getting many shots while at training, because I would be traveling down to Africa for several meetings…. BAD NEWS?!  This was the BEST, bad news I had ever heard.  If only you could have seen my face!!  If you know me, you know I am a baby, and I despise getting shots…But, shots to go to Africa?!!  I’ll take them all!  I have never in my life been sooooo excited to get a zillion shots! 

All I could yesterday afternoon was smile and tell the good news to the people around me….But, I also couldn’t help but pr@ise Him!! 

He has truly flipped my life around this past year.  He is about to remove me from everything and everyone I know, yet I have never been more excited about it – because He continues to show me that His ways, His plan for my life is far better than anything I could imagine.  And, at the same time, He continues to show me that He knows every desire of my heart; if I am just willing to give full control over to Him, He will make sure that these desires are taken care of in His way, on His time. 

I have one week left at home before I head to training!  I will be at training for eight weeks!  I have never been away from my family for this long, so this will definitely be a big test.  I ask that you continue to pr@y for strength, wisdom, power, and knowledge as I head into this time.  This will be eight weeks filled of intense classes, the start of learning French, and many other things. 

BUT, I also ask that you continue to pr@y for my family here at home!  Dad knows the desires of my heart for my family; and, as a family, we pr@y to Dad, believing in the power of pr@yer and believing that He is the almighty physician. 

Yesterday, Ed finished up round two of chemo!  He did very well with round two, and it is obvious he receives special treatment around the office – they gave him red velvet cheesecake yesterday while he received treatment!! 

During this round, they upped his dosage from 80mg to 100mg – this is a good thing; in hoping that it will kill the cancer quicker!  In saying this, we expected maybe some sickness would occur; but so far, so good!  Eddie has done very well, and we could not be more thankful.

The third round will begin at the end of this month.  However, before the third round we will be going for retests – to see what progress has been made.  Although we know that chemo is the medicine used by man to kill this wicked disease; we also know that it is not the healer – He is!  We are fully reliant on the power of pr@yer and knowing that He hears our pr@yers and the desires of our hearts within each pr@yer. 

With that being said, we all have been reading the book “The Circle Maker.”  If you have never heard of this book or read this book before, I strongly suggest you get it!  Our pastor, Mitch Smith, gave Eddie this book; but, we have all been taking turns reading it. 

It has changed the way that we view pr@yer – and actually has changed the way that we pr@y to Him. 

In this time, we are circling Eddie in pr@yer with the ver$e Isaiah 41:10 – “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your G0d.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

We know that the Father has provided us the Book, filled with thousands of promises!  Thousands of promises are found within His Word – I can’t even wrap my head around this amount. 

This ver$e, 41:10, is just one of those promises.  So, as a family, we are circling Eddie in pr@yer; using this ver$e as our promise from Him.  This promise guides every pr@yer we pr@y for Eddie.  And, not only are we just pr@ying this verse, we are pr@ying with authority – going to the Father asking Him to perform a miracle, healing Eddie, like we KNOW He can do. 

With these checkup tests approaching us within the next couple of weeks, we are asking that you circle Eddie in pr@yer as well.  We ask that you join us, in standing firm, knowing that we serve a mighty $avior who hears our every pr@yer, holds every tear we cry, knows every single desire of our heart, and is most definitely a performer of miracles. 

Take this pr@yer, and pr@y with us daily.

We love and appreciate you all! 

"Papa's Getting His Hair Cut'

Today, as we started off a New Year, I couldn't help but praise Dad for the family that he has blessed me with. 

Last night all 9 of us –Ed, Mom, Fain, Josh, Jamie, Liv, Haddy, Alli, and I- spent the night ringing in the New Year together….and we wouldn’t have spent it any other way!  Then today, Jamie, Alli, and myself decided to go hiking at Pilot Mountain!  As we hiked the mountain, we couldn’t help but be in awe.  What an amazing, beautiful place Pilot Mountain is – the view overlooking the surrounding area is just breathtaking.  We couldn’t help but continue asking ourselves why we had always gone to Stone Mountain, and never once considered visiting Pilot Mountain….

Then, we came home tonight and as Hadley’s phrase is best - “Papa’s getting his hair cut.” 

Over the course of this past week, the chemo kicked in and Eddie’s hair began falling out….Tonight he decided to get “his hair cut.”  Tonight Jamie shaved Eddie’s head.  Although we knew this day would come, it was/is definitely a hard task that one must face when receiving chemo treatments.  BUT, as Alli phrased it best, “this was a bittersweet moment, because at least we know the chemo is working!”  This daunting task actually went as perfect as it possibly could have gone! 

Over the course of the past week, things have been a little rocky.  Eddie had a cold this past week; which resulted in him having a temperature and having a terrible cough.  Due to one airway being restricted, this cough made it hard at night for Eddie to receive the sleep that he needed.  Then, we were supposed to have started chemo on Tuesday – which would have resulted in the second round concluding Friday.  But, due to the cold, chemo was unable to take place.  The doctor said that it would not have been smart for us to do chemo – due to the fact that Eddie’s body was fighting a cold already, lowering the counts with chemo would not have been beneficial.  So, the game plan right now is to start chemo on Monday and continue through Wednesday.  Please just continue to pr@y that we continue to get rid of this cold – as Eddie has felt better the past day or two – so that we can keep on schedule and continue with round two on Monday! 

But, in saying all of this, I just have to say that as this year, 2014, has arrived, I honestly could not be more thankful for the family that Father has blessed me with. 

As we have had a couple of sleepless nights here at the house, I have spent a lot of time in pr@yer and a lot of time reflecting upon how much my family truly means to me.

Fifteen years ago tomorrow, the Father chose my dad to join Him in He@ven.  Yes, my dad meant the world to me…I would be lying to you if I told you I didn’t miss him today.  There have been events over the course of the past fifteen years that I would have given anything for him to be at….But, I cannot help but to smile when I think what an amazing example he was – what an inspiration his story and faith in the Father was to all those who he came in touch with.  I find strength in knowing that although dad wasn’t at games, graduations, and major life events, I KNOW beyond a shadow  of a doubt that he joined my He@venly Father in the clouds, and together they both watched these events  – smiling and laughing the whole way through.  I find peace in knowing that I will see Him one day.

But, as dad was called up to be with the Father, Father sent another blessing my way – a blessing in which it took me years to understand, accept, appreciate, and love.  Father sent Eddie to my mom, Alli, and I.  And with Eddie came Fain and Jamie! 

I will be the first to admit that accepting these three into our family, was NOT something that I initially wanted.  In fact, I tried to push them away as hard as anyone possibly could….I did and said everything and anything mean that could possibly be said….I was not a fan of Eddie and my mom being together, and in no way did I want more siblings.  I wanted anything but this, and it was obvious to all…..

But today, as I think back to that time, I am ashamed of who I was, what I did, and how I acted.  And, I am beyond thankful that my mom and Eddie were stubborn enough to stick it out - believing and loving each other the whole way through…….

As Dad called my dad to join Him in He@ven, He knew all along that He would be sending us someone equally as great to take care and provide for Mom, Alli, and I – He also knew to grant Eddie some patience as it took me a while to adjust.  J 

Today, as we head into this New Year, I could not be more thankful for the family that I have!  We may be one crazy bunch, but I wouldn’t want it to be  any different.  These past couple months we have laughed, cried, and grown together…and honestly, I am not sure how we would get through it if it were  any different.   Although we are facing a difficult time as a family, we continue to hold our heads high, pull together, keep our faith strong in Him, and pr@y knowing that He is the one true healer, that holds every tear we cry, and has our best interest at heart…..Without this we would be lost…..

But, as the kiddos, we would be lost without the strength of the parents.  During a time when many could give up, be angry, and just thrown in the towel….Eddie and Mom are doing the exact opposite.  Not once have they said anything negative.  Not once have they said anything angry.  Not once have they even thought about giving up.  No, they are the definition of strong, positive, and faithful.  As the kids, we are blessed to have examples like this!  I ask that you continue to pr@y for all of us, but particular Eddie and Mom, as we are entering into round two of chemo.  As we know there will be days of struggle ahead, please pr@y that their spirits stay positive, strong, and faithful just as they have always been! 

Dad blessed me with an amazing family, and I cannot wait to see what He does for us, through us, and in us during 2014!  As we are facing Eddie’s cancer, and as that is our number one priority, we are also facing many other changes this year as a family – many thrilling changes that we are all looking forward to going through together!  We know 2014 is a BIG year, and find comfort in knowing that everything that happens must first go through His hands!  

Sadie's Gift

                                      

Every year, at this time of year, life seems to become one big whirl wind.  Life becomes very fast pace; where both days and nights become filled with some event or activity.  Although it is the happiest time of year, we tend to get so busy and so caught up in the materialistic parts of the season that we forget about the true meaning of the celebration.

I will be the first to admit, these past two weeks have been complete chaos for me!  Between school, family, quitting my job to prepare for this new adventure, and celebrating Christmas events, I have had something going on nearly every night.  Life has seemingly been nonstop.  Due to these busy days and late nights, I will admit that my morning devotional time has definitely not received the time it deserves - it has almost been nonexistent on somedays....

The irony in all of this - the reason life is so busy, the reason for this holiday, is to celebrate our Savi0r, JC. But, how is it that we give gifts, we indulge in tons of food, we gather together with loved ones....we laugh & fellowship with one another...yet, in all of this we forget the real meaning behind the season?!?  

That first Christmas our Father gave us the best gift one could ever receive - the birth of Je$u$.  Our Father selflessly sent His one and only Son into this world - a world we selfishly filled with sin - knowing that this was one gift that He would give to His people, out of love and compassion, which would not and could not be returned by the people.  He sent His Son into this world, knowing the outcome would result in Chr1$t's death on the cross, to save us of our sins - to save us, filthy, unworthy sinners - so that one day we could enter into His gates forever...

This gift was the most valuable, the most heartfelt, the most selfless gift anyone could ever give.  This gift is THE reason we have and celebrate Christmas.  

So, is it okay that we give gifts and celebrate with family during this time of year?!  Definitely.  But, does our Father want us to get so caught up in purchasing gifts and the materialistic aspect that we have turned Christmas into, that we forget the true meaning of Christmas?!! No.  I challenge you to stop and take time this year to share the true meaning of Christmas with someone; share with them the best gift that they could ever receive - JC! 

....Even if everyone you know already knows Dad, you can STILL share His love for them, with them.  And this is the lesson that I learned Sunday! 

Yes, my family and loved ones are all His children, but does that mean that I cannot continue to share His love and discuss His word with them?!  Absolutely not.  And this often times is something that we tend to do.  

I feel it is easy to look at people as check marks.  Once one becomes a follower, we just check them off and tend to not discuss, build, and grow a Christian relationship with them.  We tend to look for the next nonbeliever to share His love and word with.....

But, this is not what we are called to do.  We are called to connect, build, and grow in our relationship with Him together!  We are His body, and His body cannot operate correctly without all parts working together; keeping each other built up through words of encouragement, prayer, discipleship, and so forth....

As I went to church yesterday, I received the BEST Christmas gift from a fellow believer one could ever imagine.  

Yesterday, little Miss Sadie gave me a handmade scarf for my trip to "Italy!"  It was absolutely stunning - you could tell that she spent a lot of time and effort on this scarf - it was truly made with love.  But, this gift got even better.  Along with the gift, Miss Sadie had written me a card.  In the card Sadie wrote - "...I also hope you will remember that when you look at this scarf you can know that you always have someone praying for you...." 

Sadie, a child, understands the way that gifts should be given.  Sadie not only gave me a scarf, a tangible item that she worked so very hard on making, but she also has given me a priceless gift - the gift of prayer!  There is nothing more comforting than knowing that I have her support and her prayers during this time in my life.  This is what Christmas is all about - this is what we, as believers, are called to do for one another! 

Thank you sweet Sadie for reminding me what Christmas is all about. Thank you Sadie for reminding me to slow down and remember the reason for this Christmas season.

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas! 

Love you all, 

Sam

A Change of Seasons...

                                 

As I reflect upon yesterday, I could not help but think of Ecclesiastes 3:1 – “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens…”

Yesterday, I ended one season of my life.  But, I began an entire new one. 

My entire childhood I just knew that I would grow up and become a teacher.  I remember as a child, I would torture Alli and my poor stuffed animals, by putting a flashlight in my closet so that it would shine upon my bedroom wall, I would hang a piece of paper (making my own makeshift overhead projector), and would make them play school with me!  Often times, you will hear how teachers are just born teachers – born with the natural instinct to love, work with, and teach children – this is what everyone said about me; there was just no doubt that I would be a teacher when I grew up.

With that in mind, I went to ASU, received a degree in elementary education, and have been teaching for the past two and a half years.  In these two and a half years I have taught in three different grade levels, have accomplished things I never thought I would ever do, have learned more than I ever would have imagined, have laughed until I have cried, have stressed myself out until I have cried, and the list could continue on forever…I would be lying if I told you these past two years were a bed of roses; they definitely were not.  Like any job, there were high days and low days, times of laughter and times of crying, times of frustration and times of pure happiness.

In the education world, it is easy to get so wrapped up in meeting requirements and fulfilling the curriculum expectations that one forgets to look at his/her children as children (as individual people, who need nothing less than love and compassion); but rather look at them as little robots who you know you have to pull growth out of and see success.  Last year, that is what I did.  I looked at my sixty some fifth graders as little robots, who I had to pull growth out of in some form or fashion.  I didn’t worry about their home and social life, like one should have – although I talked with my kids, I definitely did not build the positive relationship I desired to have with each one of them.  I was strictly their teacher, who set an extremely high standard for growth, and did everything I could to make sure they met that growth.  AND yes, I had no idea what I was really doing (I taught social studies and science), so that meant I was even more stressed out, and in no way patient with the kids.  Did I get the test results I wanted?  Did my children meet that expected growth?  YES, they blew it out of the water.  BUT, were those test scores something I was proud of….absolutely NOT.  I was almost rather embarrassed.  My children may have excelled on a test; but, so what….I was not the person I should have been for them.  I was not patient.  I was not loving.  I was not the person I desired to be for them.  In fact, I was completely opposite of that.  In saying that, I was determined that this year would be better.  I was determined that yes, I would still have high standards and do my very best to teach and meet the standards I was required to teach; BUT, I was also determined that this year I would love my children.  I was determined to know my sweet little fourth graders – I was determined to take time to listen to them, hear their thoughts, cry with them if they needed it, and laugh at all of their silly stories.  And, I did just that.  And, I will say that this half year, I have grown to love these sweet children more than I could have ever imagined. 

This year, Dad truly blessed me children who although I had moments of frustration with, I can honestly say that I never left school having not laughed at least once!  Even on my worst day, at my grumpiest moment, these kids knew just what to say or do to make me laugh.  And, upon telling them that I was planning to leave, they took the news like champs!  Yes, they were heartbroken, but they kept saying “Ms. Newman is doing work for Dad, so it’s okay.”  These kiddos are children of the Father, who know the true meaning of life, and taught me just as much as I taught them. 

Yesterday, since it was our last day together, I was determined that none of us would cry – we were going to spend the day having fun!  We only had a half day yesterday; so not a lot of time – but we utilized every moment.  Mom and Alli came in yesterday to help make this day great.  They pulled the children back and had them making cups filled with the ingredients to make “Cowboy Cookies,” to give to a loved one for Christmas.  Although this proved to be quite a messy and tricky task, there was nothing but smiles on everyone’s faces!  The kids LOVED it.  Then, we spent the rest of our day playing “Minute to Win It” games!  It was so much fun – my kids are VERY competitive, so you can imagine it became very loud and chaotic, but totally worth the laughs and smiles.

   

You can see in these pictures how our day went….AND yes, you’ll notice they did try to tie me up and get me to stay J  It was a perfect day, a perfect ending to my time in fourth grade! J  I ask that you pr@y for these munchkins as they start back on January 6^th though – they are very apprehensive about having a new teacher and all of the changes that will occur with that…..     

After school was over, I was blessed to spend some time with all of the staff by eating lunch at Theos!  Although I refused to give a “speech” yesterday, because I was determined that no one would cry, I would like to say how blessed I am to have worked with each and every person at CB Eller over the course of the past two and a half years.  I am beyond grateful for the faculty and staff of CB Eller Elementary School.  These individuals are truly like family to me, and I am forever grateful for them.  They have been there to help me in any way possible, and have never complained about it once.  They are the hardest working people I know, and each one of them is truly passionate about their job and the children that they work with.  They not only pushed me to be the best teacher I could be, but they also pushed me to become a better person.  Thank you all for everything you have done, and continue to do…I love each of you and wish you nothing but the absolute best.

……As this door closed yesterday, my heart was saddened to leave these beautiful people BUT, at the same time it was the most peaceful, easy transition I have ever made.  Closing this door was both hard and easy – it was truly a bittersweet goodbye.  Although I always felt that I would make a career in teaching children, although as a child I saw this being the career Dad had chosen for me, He has opened this entirely new door for my life.  It is a door in which I am opening, and running straight through with no hesitation.  This is truly the first time in my life in which I can see Dad’s path laid straight in front of me, just waiting on me to walk down it…..I can also look back on these past couple years of my life and see how He has been planning this path for me to take.  It is nothing short of amazing. 

In less than one month, this new journey, this new season, will begin in full force!  Although this new journey is requiring me to close several other doors, and leave everyone and everything I know behind, I could not be more excited and sure of this decision.  His plan, His path, His decision for my life is far greater than anything I could ever imagine.  

I like a check box answer.....

If you know me, you know I am mostly a black and white kind of person.  I am a check yes or no type of person.  I like to see or have the outcome in mind.  I like to know what the answer will be.  Sure, I have learned to just go with the flow on some things in life; but, I guess the teacher part in me likes to have things planned out – knowing what will come next, and having an idea in my mind of how it will turn out.  I am a planner at heart. 

But, here lately nothing has been black or white.  Tonight I was just driving down the road, just reflecting upon life.  I began wondering and asking Father (for like the millionth time in the past week), “Why can’t things just be a yes or no, why can’t there just be a check box?...Where answers are obvious – where there are no question marks….”    

Each time I ask, I get the same response.  I think that often times Father doesn’t always give us the point blank answer, He doesn't give us a black and white ending picture, He doesn’t give us that yes or no box, because He wants us to trust in Him.  He wants us to fully surrender those items that are causing questions, hurt, and pain over to Him.  He wants us to lay it down at His feet, giving it all over to Him, and TRUST that He will take care of it all.  Our Father loves us beyond all recognition, beyond anything we can ever comprehend….He feels every hurt and pain that we have.  He knows every emotion we have, every thought we have. 

BUT, He yearns for us to let him take these burdens and just completely give them over to Him, knowing that He already knows the answer to these questions, He already knows which way things will go…

I admit – it is hard at times.  I fail daily at this.  I am such a strong willed person that I feel I should find out every answer, I should understand every unknown, and those that I don’t understand I want to discover and find out for myself as quickly as possible……

BUT, this is not what we are called to do.  In these times of questions, Father calls us to sit quietly, wait patiently, and trust fully in Him.  He calls us to spend time in His word, drawing closer to Him….fully surrendering life over to Him. 

So, as you go through the duration of this week, I ask that you pr@y for me to do just this.  And I challenge you to try this as well.  We serve a mighty, mighty, MIGHTY BIG Father who loves us deeper than anyone could, and cares for us in ways we will never understand.  He goes before us, never leaving us in these times alone. 

Tomorrow, is a big day for our family!  As we have faced many unknowns the past few weeks, we finally got some results in.  Eddie’s biopsy did show that the lymph nodes outside the lungs and neck were cancer – the same type as we had found before – neuroendocrine carcinoma.  On the positive side, the MRI found nothing in the brain, and the CT found nothing in the stomach!  We did have at PET scan today, and will be on our way to see Doctor Vatca again first thing tomorrow morning.  Upon seeing her in the morning, Eddie will begin chemo treatments tomorrow afternoon! 

Sure, there were a lot of questions answered by these results.  But, our family still has many, many questions.  When we have family discussions my answer is always, “Well, that is still one big question mark….”  We don’t have all of the answers in going through this – and honestly I still can’t help but want to ask the Father WHY…But, at the same time I cannot help but smile.  Am I smiling because I am happy…No.  My heart breaks for my family.  But, I know that our Father holds the ultimate answers to all of this – we know that He has a big, big plan that one day we will get answers to.  So, in the mean time we are going to continue pr@ising Him and sharing His love with those around us.

Tomorrow, we will be in the doctors office for most of the time.  Please pr@y that we….

 A.  keep a positive, strong outlook, as that can be hard to do at times

 B.  that He breaks our hearts, opens our eyes, and shows us people that we can share His love with!

Tomorrow, we will be surrounded by people going through the same situation we are.  There will be people of all walks of life that we will come into contact with during this time, I can only hope that Dad places the right people in our paths that we can show His love to!  There is work to be done for His Kingdom, no matter where you are! 

We will let you know how tomorrow goes!  J 

Key Verses:

Psalm 46:10-“Be still, and know that I am G0d.”

John 16:33 -“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

AND, yet again my friends, dig into Job!  Job 33:12-33.  Job is my best friend right now.  This mans biggest trial was not his pain, but rather understanding why he was suffering.  He shows us that we must learn to trust in the Father who is GOOD!

As you finish reading this blog, I ask that you pr@y for some additional unspoken requests that I have.  I have a lot of friends, coworkers, and church family that are facing difficult and trying times right now.  I ask that you pr@y for peace and understanding, for healing and comfort for them during these times!  The Father knows each of their situations, please lift them up to Him.  

Love you all,

-Sam

Today, I was the student.....

Today was one of those WILD, and completely crazy days at CBE!  It was one of those days that seemed to be never ending, where everything was changing, and it became nearly impossible to get anything done.  If I can be honest – today was just one of those days where you wanted to go back home, go back to bed, and then restart the day over – hoping it would go better the second time around.

This morning started off rocky because it was a day full of testing – the kiddos had reading/vocabulary tests this morning, and I was trying to progress monitor and get other necessary testing completely.  This meant that we needed a quiet room; if you are in the elementary world you know that this is a tricky task to do at this time of year!  It essentially resulted in a lot of fussing and clip moving……I felt like the “mean teacher.”  Being the “mean teacher” is never fun, for me or the kids…... 

As a result of the madness, I was living the morning just waiting for lunch – I just needed a break and the kids needed time to talk…..

But, that wasn’t the case today….

Just as I was excited for a lunch break, G0d decided to teach me a lesson – a lesson on loving my kiddos.  A lesson that didn’t hit me until tonight when I was driving home, reflecting upon the day.

Mid-morning came and Mrs. Huffman made an announcement – the water was going to be shut off…..lunch time was coming early, AND the kids would need to eat lunch in our classrooms today!  You can probably imagine my face (you know I am terrible at hiding my expressions).  As my kiddos were excited (because eating in the room is a treat to them), I can admit I wanted to pull my hair out!  I was in desperate need of a break….but, this was just one of those situations where “me time” would have to wait. 

So, here we go to get our lunches!  The kids were happy and crazy…I was pouting…. J  As we approached the outside doors on our way back one of my sweet munchkins asked, “Ms. Newman, can we say Gr@ce today?”  My response - one big smile and an “Of course you can!” 

Of course, in the public school world, teachers can’t initiate anything – but, if the kiddos want to pr@y I won’t tell them no!  So, as we entered into the classroom I told them if they wanted to pr@y we would make a circle in the back to bless our food, and if they did not feel comfortable joining they didn’t have to!  THIS, moment was priceless.

My children began asking if they could ask for pr@yer requests.  It was in this moment that I realized the heart of my children – they have soooo much to teach me!  They each stated their requests in their individual unique ways – many for their own family members who are going through things, but many were for me and my family. 

Then, I said, “Okay, who wants to do the pr@yer?!”  And, of course, Jake (who I go to church with) spoke right up and volunteered.  Let me be the first to tell you, this kids relationship with the Father is such an example!  This child has a heart of gold – he knows who his Redeemer is, he knows who his Father is, and he is more sincere than anyone I know when it comes to pr@ying…..I cannot remember a time when Jake’s pr@yers don’t make me smile, when they don’t bring tears to my eyes.  Jake’s pr@yers are those pr@yers that you KNOW the Father is listening to! 

Today, although Jake was supposed to be blessing our food, he pr@yed for everyone’s request.  He asked the Father to be with each one of our friends requests today.  AND, at the center of his pr@yer was Eddie.  His words were so sincere to the Father, so heartfelt – I wish you could hear it.  “God please let Eddie be okay today, please let him make it through this and be okay.”  Talking about chill bumps, Jake’s pr@yers can give you chill bumps. 

But, you are probably wondering why I am telling you all about this…..

Today, through this time together, the Father reminded me why I became a teacher - he reminded me the importance of slowing down and listening to my children, He reminded me what it means to pr@y wholeheartedly, believing in the power of pr@yer. 

Often times in my job (like today) I get so bogged down in trying to accomplish the work and goals I have set for my classroom for that day that I forget to take time and appreciate my children and what they can teach me.  Yes, I am the teacher in that classroom.  And, yes I am under a time crunch to get the curriculum taught; but, I must remember to slow down and actually listen to the words and hearts of my children.  Sometimes, I have to sit back and be the student and allow them to teach me!

At the end of the day, children are just children.  Sure, at times they will definitely drive me crazy – but, they also are incredible, loving, clever minded, innocent children who want to please and love people. 

If you are ever around a child, take time to just stop and have a conversation with them.  Treat them like an adult – listen to them and learn from them.  Today, Jake reminded me the importance of turning to the Father in pr@yer, and the power of pr@yer!  He reminded me how a pr@yer should truly be – sincere and heart felt – turning everything over to the Father! 

I only have 13 days left with these kiddos.  It will be a bittersweet goodbye for sure.  We have our crazy days like today, but we have also had so many great moments, full of laughter.  I have been very blessed this year to have such a great group of students.  Please continue to pr@y for these 20 babies as they are nervous and concerned about who will become their new teacher.

AND, if you ever have a chance to meet Jake – talk to him about his Father.  He will definitely tell you about Him!