A Journey for Peace

This week has seemingly proven to be one of the hardest weeks of my life.  A time of mass confusion for me.  A time where I should joyfully be shouting out loud for all to hear what He has done and is getting to do in and through me.  But, rather this week, I cried nearly every day - as good news seemed impossible to hear for anyone.  We were constantly given report after report, and suggestion after suggestion, but nothing seemed to be what we wanted to hear.  So all week long, I have battled with the Father - wanting selfishly to ask for an extended leave at home between training and departing for France.  But, there was never a moment where I got the answer I so selfishly wanted.  Never once did He tell me that it was okay to stay.  Instead, in those dark moments of practically pleading for this extension, He would remind me that He loved my family more than I, that His hands were wrapped around them, and that He had called me to GO and go now, trusting HIM while HE WOULD take care of them!    

So, truthfully, I began going to Him asking for peace.  If it was His will for me to get on the plane today, I needed the peace that only He could give me.  Because I am stubborn – and not getting my way on this answer has been VERY hard.  Although I heard clearly, and knew exactly what He was calling me to do, I still found myself battling and wanting to say no.  So I knew the only thing I could do at this point was to go to Him and ask others to go to Him on my behalf, asking for peace in leaving - asking that I would not completely melt down this morning on the first flight as I said goodbye.

And right now, as I sit in the DC airport, all I can do is REJOICE in HIS FAITHFULNESS.  Yes, I’ll say I shed a few tears this morning and held a lot more in, but as I sat in the airport I was filled with PEACE – peace that only could come from Him. 

You see, this weekend was one of the most precious weekends of my life.  I was surrounded constantly by people who I know He has placed in my life for a very specific reason – people who I love and cherish dearly – and people I KNOW without a doubt will take care of my family while I am gone.  Father took this weekend to remind me (rather smack me upside the head) to show me that everything is taken care of at home.  What a beautiful, beautiful, glorious moment it was yesterday to see my chRch family pr@y over me, and know that deep down they weren’t just lifting me up to Him – but rather my whole family – particularly Ed. 

So today, as I boarded the first flight, the peace that filled my heart was peace that only could come from Him.  And I pr@ise Him for it.  I pr@ise Him for giving me an incredible family – a family that through thick and thin is always there, and seeks Him for everything.  I pr@ise Him for wonderful friendships – friends that are more like family than friends.  I pr@ise Him for a church family who is like none other – a church family that I am beyond proud to call mine, a church that is on fire and ready to move, and a church that instills the qualities of being His body.  I pr@ise Him for my fellow M’s, my newest friends, that I know will last a lifetime, that are faithful in checking up on me daily and lifting up my concerns.  I pr@ise Him for a team that already seems like family – and rejoices in my happy times and pull me up in the sad times.  I pr@ise Him for my pr@yer warriors and partner churches that I know without any doubt are supporting and lifting me up each day. 

And, as you read this, please know that I am THANKFUL FOR YOU!  Thank you for being such a beautiful, special part of my life.  Thank you for loving me, supporting me, and lifting me up to Him.

I can honestly say without His still small voice constantly beating into my ear that HE is in control and WILL take care of Eddie, and without your pr@yers I probably wouldn’t be sitting in the airport right now – I would have asked and taken another week to stay at home.

But, I KNOW confidently that He has called me to GO and to GO today.  And for the first time all week, I have this rejuvenated JOYOUS spirit that feels confident in leaving and being sent forth!!  There is nothing like it.  I feel confident that He is using Eddie in a way that no one else can be used, and I PR@Y BOLDLY and confidently for Him to heal Eddie - heal Him like no one else can – just as no one else could provide the peace I have today.  Our Father is faithful.  He is almighty.  He hears our hearts cries, and every pr@yer we lift up to Him.  Soooo PLEASE don’t stop lifting him up to Father – for positive spirits, for wisdom, for healing!!  HE IS ABLE. 

….I also pr@y that if you are experiencing trials like this that you tap into Him, and dig deeper in your relationship with Him than you ever have.  I pr@y that you will rely on Him like you never have before – just as I am doing – and experience His love like never before!  I pr@y that you will also connect with those around you – whether family, friends, church family, whoever – seek out those prayer warriors, share your concerns with them, and ask them to lift you up to Him!  AND in saying that, please know that I would love to do that for you!  If ever you need to be lifted up, know I am here, and would love to go to the Father on your behalf. 

I love you all. 

Here is to a new journey.  A journey where trusting, believing, and relying on Him is the ONLY way.  A journey that has my heart set on fire!